


That Kind of Story

by nomsy



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: BB-8 is the sassiest, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Cute, Drunkenness, F/F, Kissing, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Misunderstandings, Romance, Weekly Updates, but there's missions!, plot kind of secondary to the romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-05-29 16:30:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6383992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomsy/pseuds/nomsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the destruction of Starkiller Base, Poe didn't really know where this thing with Finn was going. He wanted to find out, though. He just needed Finn to wake up. And everybody else to mind their own business.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Poe stumbled out of his X-wing, threw the memory drive that contained all reports on movements of the First Order he’d been able to collect at Jess, and stormed off to the sickbay, BB-8 rolling and whirring after him.

“Thanks, good to see you, too!” Jess called after him.

Poe ignored her. That mission had lasted way too long for his comfort. He needed to see Finn.

 

Finn didn’t look like he was in a coma, no matter what Kalonia said. He just looked like he was sleeping, calm and as if he’d wake up rested and energetic in a couple of hours.

But he likely wouldn’t, not anytime soon.

Maybe he wouldn’t wake up ever again.

Poe put his head in his hands. He didn’t want to think those thoughts, but they kept pushing at him, getting into his brain, refusing to leave.

Sometimes, when he looked away from Finn for a moment and then back, he thought his friend had moved a little, that he was awake. Kalonia was very kind every time she had to tell Poe that it was only in his imagination. That didn’t make it better. Poe wanted someone to shout at him, to shake him, to hit him – anything to distract him from that other kind of pain, the kind that wasn’t physical but felt just as bad, if not worse.

He didn’t even know why he cared so much. He hadn’t known Finn for that long, but they’d gotten on so well – like they just fit – and for that short time in the stolen TIE-fighter, Poe had thought that that was exactly the right start to that kind of story.

Poe sighed and leaned back in his chair. He wasn’t going to go on any more missions until Finn woke up, he decided. He didn’t think he’d be able to leave again.

 

Poe wasn’t honestly very good at being patient, but he knew that he had to be. He wasn’t good at not doing things to improve the general situation, either, and there was nothing more frustrating than having to wait like this.

“It’s going to take a while for him to wake up, and that’s good, it’s normal,” Kalonia had said. “His body needs to rest.”

Still, it wasn’t easy not to be selfish. Poe couldn’t help but wish Finn would just wake up, no matter what Kalonia said. He yawned. He was so tired, but it was hard to sleep in this room with its bright lights and sterile surfaces. He curled up in his chair as comfortably as he could. His back was already killing him, so he might as well stay here.

Someone knocked and came in without waiting for an answer. It was Jess. “Hey,” she said, frowning at him.

“Hey.”

“You look like you’ve been digested by a sarlacc,” she said, charming as ever. “Why don’t you go to your room and get some sleep in a proper bed? Well, a bed. Mine is tiny, I assume yours is the same.”

“I’m fine here,” Poe said not taking his eyes off Finn. He looked peaceful, as though he was sleeping.

“Poe,” Jess said seriously. “Come on. You’ve been here nearly constantly since you’ve come back. Have you even washed?”

“Yes,” he said, because he had. Not very regularly or thoroughly, but she didn’t need to know that.

“We’re worried about you,” Jess said. “You creepily staring at him isn’t going to wake him up, you know?”

Poe looked up. “I know,” he said. “But I don’t want to leave him.”

Jess sighed. “All right. But, please, at least get a pillow or something. My back hurts just looking at you.”

He nodded, already back to watching Finn.

Jess mumbled something. Poe was pretty sure it was a curse. He felt sorry for making his squadron worry, but he couldn’t leave. He needed to be there when Finn woke up – he didn’t really know anyone else here, after all, and Poe didn’t want him to wake up in a white room with only near-total strangers, or, worse, all alone.

 

BB-8 rolled in some time during the night, followed by C-3PO, who was carrying a pillow.

“Master Poe,” he said, his metallic voice loud in the room that was otherwise completely quiet except for the amplified sound of Finn’s heartbeat and BB-8’s occasional whirrs. “I was asked to bring you this.”

“Oh,” Poe said. “Thanks, 3PO. That’s – nice of you.”

“You’re very welcome. And may I say, the odds of Master Finn waking up are –“

“Please,” Poe interrupted him. “I really don’t want to know.” He didn’t think he could handle someone being scientific and rational about Finn’s waking up right now.

“Of course,” C-3PO said, inclining his head and leaving the room.

BB-8 rolled closer and nudged Poe’s leg. He hooted quietly.

“I know Kalonia is the best,” Poe said.

BB-8 made a whistling noise.

“Yes, I also know she’s been saying he’s probably going to be fine.”

BB-8 whirred.

Poe sighed. “Thanks, but you don’t have to stay.”

BB-8 ignored him and stayed right where he was. Even though Poe had told him he wouldn’t mind his leaving, he was glad that his little droid had decided to stay. He was an odd comfort, and Poe knew that BB-8 worried about Finn as well, even if he pretended not to like him much.

BB-8 beeped.

“Alright,” Poe said, tiredness finally getting the better of him. “But wake me if anything happens.”

 

He met with General Organa the next day. He hadn’t wanted to – he’d wanted to stay with Finn. But Poe loved his job, because it wasn’t just his job, it was part of his life. He believed in the Resistance and fighting for it.

He also believed in Finn.

He wasn’t stupid, though. When you were told to meet with the General, you met with the General. Poe knew his duties, and he wasn’t going to forget about them completely. He felt bad for not having done anything in the past few days, ever since Finn he’d got back, but he hadn’t felt able to. He couldn’t just leave Finn there all alone.

“Poe,” General Organa said. “How are you?”

“Fine, thank you,” Poe said.

The General could obviously tell he was lying, but she didn’t comment on it.

“You’ve been staying by Finn’s side since you’ve come back from your last mission.”

Poe nodded. “Yes,” he said.

The General sighed. “I understand that. But we want you to go on a mission. There’s some sensitive information that needs to be delivered to different people across the galaxy to ensure the survival of the Resistance. Despite this last victory, we have been severely weakened by the destruction of the Republic’s central planets.”

Poe found himself unable to say, yes, of course, General.

“I –“ he started. “I don’t – I’m honored you want me to go,” he said. “But I – can’t.”

She looked at him sharply. Poe suddenly felt very small, even though the General was tiny in comparison to him. He had to look down to meet her eyes. It always felt like looking up regardless.

“I mean,” he started again. “I’m needed here, isn’t there anyone else you could send? I’m sure they’d all…” He trailed off. He knew this was completely unacceptable.

“You’re our best, bravest pilot,” General Organa said. Poe though he might only be imagining the note of pride in her voice.

“I know,” he said. There wasn’t any need for false humility right now. “I just think that, at the moment, I might not be.”

She looked at him silently. He interpreted it as encouragement to continue speaking.

“I wouldn’t – I don’t think I’d be able to concentrate on the mission right now. I’d be worried, and maybe unfocused. I was on the last one. I didn’t do as well as I should have. It took too long.”

The General was watching him intently. She probably thought he was pathetic and should be sent anyway.

“If you believe that,” she said after a few moments. “Then maybe it would be the better option to keep you here for a little longer and send someone else in your stead for now. You can go next time.”

Poe felt relief and gratitude sweep over him. “Thank you, General,” he said.

General Organa looked at him. She seemed much more tired than she ever had before. “Poe,” she said. “Everything might be fine.” She took a breath. “But it might not. You need to be able to keep the Resistance’s goals in mind if something happens to throw you – off track.” She’d stopped looking him in the eye, which wasn’t like her.

He felt like being sick. He didn’t want to think about things that might throw him off track. Finn would be fine. He would. Of course he would.

The General nodded at him and left the room.

Listening to Rey and Chewie talk after the battle, Poe had figured pretty much what had happened, and he suspected he knew why the General suddenly appeared to be much closer to her actual age than she’d used to, but it wasn’t his place to speculate, and that was all private stuff, so he should just forget about it.

Poe ran a hand over his face, then made his way back to Finn.

 

Someone knocked on the door.

“Yes,” Poe called.

It was Snap. He took a look at Poe and seemed put out. “You look like you haven’t slept in ages. And your back must be killing you.”

“That’s what Jess said.”

Snap leaned against the wall. “You okay?” he asked.

Poe shrugged. “No, but – yeah. You know.”

Snap nodded. “You gotta do stuff,” he said. “It’s no use you moping around here, you know that.”

“Of course I know that,” Poe said, impatient now. “It’s not that easy.”

“I guess.” Snap grimaced, snapping his fingers. “But, come on, Poe. This isn’t like you. Why didn’t you take that mission?”

Poe knew how cowardly he had to seem to his fellow pilots right now, and he felt ashamed. He’d never let them down before.

“I’m sorry,” Poe said. “I just don’t want to leave him alone.”

Snap shrugged. “If you think this is the right thing to do.”

Poe nodded, because he knew that it was. “I can go on the next one,” he said, not entirely certain.

“Knowing your luck, that one’ll be to Jakku,” Snap said, grinning. “You always have to go to the crappy places.”

Poe smiled back weakly.

Snap put a hand on his shoulder. “Come have lunch with us,” he said. “You need a break from moping around. And a shower. And some sleep.”

Poe got up despite himself. Maybe his friends were right. His sitting here without doing anything wasn’t going to help Finn get better.

“I’ve been showering enough,” he said, managing a small grin. “You guys are just too sensitive.”

Snap laughed. “If you say so.”

 

Poe was forced to concede that Snap had been right – lunch was a nice distraction, even though he felt guilty for leaving Finn alone. Well, not totally alone. He’d sent BB-8 to stay with him.

Jess wasn’t there, and Poe wondered why for a moment, until he realized she had likely taken on the mission he had been meant to complete.

“Cheer up,” Snap said, nudging Poe’s side. “Kalonia’s the best.”

Everyone kept saying that.

“I know,” Poe said. He really wanted a change of topic. “What’ve you guys been up to, anyway?”

Nien laughed before going back to his food.

Snap grinned as well. “Mostly making fun of Jess,” he said.

“Why?” Poe asked.

Nien laughed again.

“You know that woman, Rey? The one who’s gone to find Luke Skywalker and train with him to destroy the First Order once and for all? People say she’s going to become a Jedi-queen or something.”

Poe considered this to be proof of the way rumors travelled way too fast to be kept even remotely true, but he merely nodded. “Yeah,” he said. He’d liked Rey when he’d met her.

“Well,” Snap said. “Jess very obviously took a liking to her the moment she saw her, even though she won’t admit it. You know Jess.”

Poe did know Jess, and he couldn’t help but grin. “I see,” he said, immensely cheered up by these news. Jess was hilarious whenever they teased her, so they would definitely have their fun once she got back.

Right then BB-8 rolled into the room, beeping loudly and circling around the table.

“He’s awake?” Poe asked because BB-8 was beeping so fast he was hard to understand.

BB-8 beeped something very insulting towards Poe’s mental capabilities.

Poe jumped up and hurried out of the room towards the sickbay without another word.

 

Of course. Of course Finn had woken up when Poe wasn’t there. Poe ran down the hallways, narrowly avoiding crashing into C-3PO. If only he hadn’t gone to lunch. If he’d stayed, he could’ve taken care of Finn straight away. He could’ve been there and told him everything was going to be fine, that he wasn’t going to leave. But no, he’d gone for lunch, to have fun, and this was his fault.

It turned out he couldn’t even get to Finn, because he was surrounded by Kalonia, some other doctors, and medical droids.

A nurse held him back. “You can’t go in here,” he said.

“Please,” Poe said. “I need to – to see if –“

“Wait outside, please,” the nurse said. “We will inform you as soon as we can.”

Poe slid down the wall of the hallway and put his head on his knees.

The nurse was right, he knew. He would only disrupt the doctors’ work. Still, he couldn’t suppress the desire to see Finn, to make sure he was okay, to look into his eyes and maybe Finn would smile at him and –

BB-8 nudged him and whooped quietly. Poe looked at the droid and forced himself to smile. “Thanks, BB-8,” he said.

BB-8 whirred and stayed at his side.

Together, they waited.

 

After what felt like forever, Kalonia let them in.

Finn was still lying there like he had the entire time, and for a moment Poe was afraid that maybe he hadn’t woken up after all. Then he realized that Finn’s eyes were open and focused on him.

“Poe?” Finn croaked, and Poe dropped to his knees next to him, taking his hand. He felt like crying with relief, but he didn’t think that would make Finn feel better.

“Yeah?” he said instead. “Finn, are you okay?”

“Where’s Rey?” Finn whispered.

Poe squeezed Finn’s hand and took a breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update this every Monday, I've got the whole story planned out and nearly all of it written so you don't need to worry about it dying. There will be mild sexual content in later chapters, but it's mostly rated M to be safe.


	2. Chapter 2

Poe looked up at Kalonia for help with what to say.

She stepped closer and looked at Finn. “Rey is fine,” she said. “We’ll explain everything to you later.”

“Kylo Ren?” Finn rasped. His eyes were wide, as if he was afraid this was a trap, or somehow not real.

“Don’t worry about the First Order now,” Poe said. “We blew up Starkiller Base. We don’t know who made it out, but we don’t have a confirmation on Ren. Either way, they’re weakened.”

Finn closed his eyes and nodded slightly. “Water, please,” he said.

A droid filled a glass and Kalonia helped Finn, whose hands were shaking, drink it.

Finn weakly squeezed Poe’s fingers, and Poe felt genuine relief and happiness for the first time since the destruction of Starkiller Base.

“Everything’s going to be okay now,” he said, wanting badly to believe it.  

 

It wasn’t that simple. Sure, Poe slept soundly for the first night since the destruction of Starkiller Base, but he still woke up feeling uneasy. He visited Finn right after breakfast. He would have gone before, but Kalonia hadn’t let him in that early.

“Hey,” he said, sitting down by Finn’s side.

“Hey,” Finn said. He looked better than the day before, but not very much.

“How are you?” Poe asked him.

“Fine,” Finn said absent-mindedly. “Listen, Kalonia said Rey couldn’t come visit me because she was on a mission but that she was okay? Why did she leave?”

Poe cleared his throat. “Right,” he said. “I’m not sure if I’m the right person to –“

“ _Please_ ,” Finn said, and Poe’s resolve crumbled instantly.

“She went to find Luke Skywalker,” he said. “I don’t know all the details. Something about his lightsaber and the Force?”

Finn nodded slightly. “But – she was fine? After the battle?”

“Yes,” Poe said. “She fought against Kylo Ren, and wounded him, apparently. I wasn’t there – obviously. I mean, I was in my X-wing. So I only heard about it from her and Chewbacca.”

“Han Solo –“ Finn started. He didn’t finish the question.

Poe looked at his hands. “He – uh. He was – he died. Kylo Ren killed him.”

“I remember.” Finn was staring straight ahead. “It’s my fault, you know?”

“What? Why?”

“I said I knew how to disable the shields and everything, but I didn’t. We had to make everything up as we went, and then Rey and I came in from outside, and we were higher up –“ He went silent.

Poe felt sick. He took a deep breath. He needed to be calm. Kalonia had told him not to upset Finn because it would slow healing process. Only she’d said it more medically.

“I’m really sorry about that,” Poe said, hoping Finn could tell he was sincere. “Han Solo dying, I mean. But I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.”

“Yeah,” Finn said quietly. Poe was sure he didn’t actually agree, but he didn’t push. Finn stayed silent for a few moments, then spoke again. “Is Chewie alright?”

“Yeah, he is,” Poe said. “I mean, he’s sad. But he went with Rey and R2-D2 to find Luke –“

“Who’s R2-D2?” Finn mumbled. His eyes were half-closed.

“He’s a droid,” Poe said. “Remember, he had the rest of the map that leads to where Luke Skywalker is?”

“Oh, right,” Finn said, clearly barely awake by now.

Kalonia bustled in and checked all kinds of charts that monitored Finn’s stability. “Poe, you better go now. Finn needs a lot of rest,” she said.

Poe got up and nodded. He wanted to tell Finn he’d come by again later, but his friend had already fallen asleep.

 

“So why aren’t you happier?” Snap asked, spoon halfway to his mouth.

Poe frowned. “I’m happy,” he said.

Nien snorted but kept eating.

“I am!” Poe insisted.

“Then smile for a change,” Snap said.

Poe forced a smile. He suspected he wasn’t convincing anyone with it.

He was angry at himself. Of course he was happy that Finn had woken up, but it was strange to see him like that – weak and tired and injured. Maybe he wouldn’t make a full recovery. Kalonia had said that Finn’s condition was ‘stable’, but that didn’t mean that something bad couldn’t still happen.

“Usually you’re an optimist,” Snap said.

“Yeah, I am, I’m just worried,” Poe said, not sure whether he was contradicting or agreeing with Snap by making that statement.

Poe sighed and got up. “I’m gonna get some fresh air,” he said.

 

He didn’t go to get fresh air. He went to see Finn.

Kalonia threw him a glance as he made his way into the room. He gestured to the chair he’d been spending the better part of his days in lately. “Uh, can I –“

“Yes,” she said. “For a little while. Please remember that you need to consider your own wellbeing, Poe,” she said.

He nodded and sat down. Finn was still – or maybe again – asleep, but a little while later he blinked and his eyes set on Poe.

“Poe?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Poe said. “I’m here.” He felt very stupid.

“Am I funny?” Finn mumbled.

“What?”

“Funny. ‘Cause you come here to watch me sleep a lot. Do I snore or something?” His eyes widened and he suddenly looked a lot more awake. “Do I _talk_?”

“Oh,” Poe said. “No. You’re just –“

‘Beautiful’ was the word that sprang to mind, but Poe realized that he shouldn’t say that.

“Normal,” was what he eventually settled on.

“Okay,” Finn said, relaxing back into the pillows. “Where’s Rey? Is she safe?”

“Um,” Poe said, confused. “She’s looking for Luke Skywalker, remember?”

“Oh,” Finn said. “No.” He frowned. “Should I?”

“That can happen,” Kalonia said from where she had been standing the entire time, checking instruments. Poe had forgotten she was there. “Likely your memory will be fine soon and the confusion will stop. At the moment, you’ve only recently woken up, you’re tired and you’ve had a severe shock. It can be detrimental to one’s mental faculties’ functioning shortly after the accident.”

“Right,” Finn said.

Poe didn’t say anything. He was stuck on Kalonia’s ‘likely’.

“So, what happens now?” Poe asked Kalonia after a brief silence.

“Now,” she said. “You’re going to have some food and then a shower and a good sleep,” she said.

Poe opened his mouth to argue, but she gave him a strict look and he decided against it. “Alright,” he said unhappily.

He glanced at Finn. “I’ll be back later,” he said, when a thought suddenly hit him. “Unless you want me to stay away –“

“No!” Finn said. “No. Come back later, please.”

“He will,” Kalonia interrupted. “After you’ve both slept.”

Poe didn’t think it smart to protest.

 

Poe was woken up by BB-8. That happened quite often, because BB-8 was possessive and very good at being loud. Poe was glad about that, usually, and he liked BB-8 just the way he was. But sometimes, he wanted to sleep when BB-8 didn’t want him to, and that caused conflicts. BB-8 won them most of the time by whirring and generally being cute, making Poe unable to say no to him.

BB-8 whooped and beeped next to Poe’s bed, and Poe sat up with a groan, rubbing his eyes. He needed a moment to remember where he was and what had happened. He had no idea what time it was or whether there was anything he needed to be doing right now.

“BB-8,” he said. “What’s going on?”

BB-8 beeped.

Poe sighed. “I’m sorry you’re bored, but I’ve got orders to follow. Orders that say I have to sleep.”

BB-8 whistled.

“Kalonia,” Poe said.

BB-8 whirred.

Poe frowned. “I am obedient!”

BB-8 stayed quiet, but Poe still had a feeling that the little droid had won the argument.

“So what did you even come here to tell me?” he asked.

BB-8 whirred again.

Poe pulled the blanket over his head. “I am not stalking him! It’s not creepy!”

BB-8 made a new, very strange, whooping and creaking sound. Poe suspected it was the droid’s way of laughing.

 

“BB-8 came in last night and beeped at me,” Finn said. “It’s like he expects me to have learned to understand him while in a coma. I don’t think he likes me…”

BB-8 whirred and left the room, apparently insulted.

Poe grinned. “He says you have to put a little effort in to get his approval.”

“Right,” Finn said. “Something besides fighting Kylo Ren and nearly dying? Though to be fair, I wasn’t very successful.”

“You did great,” Poe said, meaning it. “Without you, we never would’ve managed to destroy Starkiller Base. We’d all be dead by now.”

“Well, you flew me out of there in the first place when I deserted,” Finn said. “And Rey did most of the fighting.”

Poe didn’t know what to say to that. He never knew what to say when Finn talked about Rey.

Luckily, Kalonia came in to give Finn a critical once-over, sparing Poe from having to think of an answer. “How are we feeling today?” she asked.

Finn sighed dramatically. “I can barely move,” he said. “I’m bored. I want to do something.”

“You can talk to Poe,” Kalonia said. “From what I can tell, there’s no way of getting him to leave you alone to rest.”

Poe managed a sheepish smile. “I tried,” he said. “But there’s worse people to have around than me!” Hopefully, the other two weren’t going to disagree with him on that.

“I know,” Finn said, turning his head to smile at Poe.

 

Poe went to have dinner with Snap and Nien. He sat down at their table and Snap smirked at him. “Whoa,” he said. “Who’s this?”

Nien chuckled.

“Could it be Poe?” Snap asked sarcastically. “It can’t! I haven’t seen him in – oh, how long? Wait –“

Poe threw his spoon at him, but Snap ducked and it hit 3-CPO who was standing at the wall talking to a mech droid.

“Finn gets bored if I’m not there,” Poe said.

Nien and Snap looked at him.

“Are you sure you don’t get on his nerves?” Snap said. “I know you guys are friends and I’m certain he’s glad you’re visiting, but don’t you think he’d like some quiet sometimes?”

Poe stared at him. “No?” he said.

Snap shrugged. “That’s good, then.” He went back to eating.

Poe started on his food as well, but his thoughts were far away. What if Finn was only being nice when asking him to visit, or when he indicated he liked talking to Poe, or when he smiled that smile that made warmth rush through Poe…

Poe told himself he was being stupid. Finn was his friend. Of course Finn wanted him around. If he didn’t, surely he would have said so. It wasn’t like Finn was shy. Then again, Poe didn’t know Finn as well as he would have liked. But he would like to know Finn completely, inside and out, and he didn’t know whether he was going to get to do that, ever.

“Poe, cheer up,” Snap said. “You know him better than we do. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

“It’s alright,” Poe said. “I’m fine.” He had better pull himself together. He was being ridiculous, after all, and his friends deserved his attention.

 

Poe had planned on visiting Finn again in the evening, but he decided against it. He decided against it again the next morning, and the next evening. And the morning after that. He ran into Kalonia during lunch that day. She looked at him. “Poe,” she said. “Get down to the sickbay and talk to Finn. He needs distraction.”

“He wants to see me?” Poe asked.

Kalonia frowned. “Yes, of course. He’s asking me all the time why you’ve stopped coming by.”

“Oh,” Poe said, taking off down the corridor towards the sickbay.

Finn was sitting up, which was new, and obviously meant he was getting better.

“Hey,” Poe said.

“Hey.” Finn looked like he was thinking hard. “What did I do?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” Poe said. He sat down in his chair.

“You stopped visiting me. I know this is pretty boring –“

“It’s not –“

“And I can’t do anything fun –“

“That’s not why –“

“But, you know, I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Poe burst out. He didn’t regret saying it, but he did wish he’d said it a little less forcefully.

“Right,” Finn said.

“I did.” Poe took a deep breath. “I thought maybe I was getting on your nerves.”

“And you didn’t think you could just ask me about it?”

Poe shrugged. “Sorry.”

“No, don’t – don’t apologize, that’s not what I meant. I just. I missed you,” he said again. “Do you have a lot to do or can you stay for a while?”

“I can stay,” Poe said. “Of course I can.”

“Good,” Finn said.

“You’re looking – are you feeling better?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah. I mean, it hurt pretty bad at first, but they’ve put me on painkillers, so that’s better now. Though they make me want to sleep all the time. And I can sit up.” He pointed at himself.

“That’s great,” Poe said.

“Yeah.”

They were silent. Poe had no idea what to say, and he honestly didn’t feel like talking. But he didn’t feel like leaving, either. He didn’t know what to do and how to handle this. Maybe Finn would eventually have enough of him, even though he’d said that he wanted Poe around.

Finn decided him by asking, “You’ll stay, won’t you? Even though I can’t think of anything to say right now.”

“Yeah, sure,” Poe said, relieved.

“Good,” Finn said. “I might fall asleep. Can you wake me if BB-8 comes in to kill me because I take up all of your time?”

“He’ll probably take me out first,” Poe said. “But I’ll do my best.”

Finn chuckled. “That a promise?”

“Of course,” Poe said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who bookmarked and subscribed to this story, and to everyone who left kudos on the last chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

“Poe, look!” Finn shouted as soon as Poe came in. “I can get up!”

He did, taking a step and falling over. Poe just managed to catch him.

Finn was very close to him. Like, very. And it felt good to hold him this close. Really good. And it reminded him of that dream he had had two nights ago that had involved him and Finn and a jar of blue milk custard. He should take his hands off Finn’s waist. Really. Okay, this was going on too long. Poe knew he needed to say something. Now.

“Impressive,” he said. Good. Well done, Poe, he told himself.

Finn stuck his tongue out at him. Poe didn’t tell him how adorable that was, because if he didn’t know maybe he’d do it again sometime.

He helped Finn into the chair. “Maybe take it slow for now,” he suggested.

Finn nodded. “Fine,” he said. “More boredom.”

“You don’t have to be bored,” Poe said. “We can do something fun.”

“Like what?”

“Like – I don’t know. Anything you want to.”

Finn leaned back in the chair and stretched. He winced and grimaced. “No stretching,” he said. “Ow, ow.”

Poe tried not to laugh. Finn noticed and threw him a dirty look. “Not funny,” he said.

“Well,” Poe said. “Kind of funny.”

Finn grinned. “Alright,” he conceded.

Kalonia walked in. “You need some fresh air, Finn,” she said.

“Yeah,” Poe said. “We can just go outside for a bit. It’s your first day of being allowed to get up, you can take it easy.”

Kalonia nodded. “You can get a wheelchair –“

“I’m not getting into a wheelchair!” Finn yelped. “I’m gonna walk!”

Kalonia looked at him critically. “Well, if you insist,” she said. “Poe, make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid or risky.”

Finn huffed.

“Sure,” Poe said, helping Finn up. He was almost selfishly glad that Finn needed his help – Poe liked the way Finn wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pressed himself against Poe’s side.

“Stop it,” Poe muttered to himself.

“Sorry,” Finn said. “You don’t have to –“

“No, no,” Poe said quickly. “I didn’t mean you.”

“Kalonia, Poe said to stop it,” Finn said.

Kalonia looked over from where she was talking with one of the medical droids. “Excuse me?”

“Not you, either,” Poe said.

“I think Poe’s the one who needs fresh air,” Finn said, grinning.

“Let – let’s go,” Poe stammered. “Fresh air. Sounds good.”

Finn laughed and Poe could actually feel it. Blast.

Fresh air. Definitely.

 

Poe dug his toes into the grass and turned his face up towards the sun. He could see the light reddish behind his eyelids. He liked the sun on D’Qar. It was just warm enough.

“You look happy,” Finn said. He was sitting right next to Poe, their sides touching.

“I am,” Poe said with a smile.

“Why?” Finn asked.

“’Cause you’re not dead,” Poe said.

“Mmh, that’s a good reason.” Finn chuckled and rested his head on Poe’s shoulder. Poe’s heartbeat sped up and he hoped he wasn’t blushing or anything. He wasn’t sure what this meant. Finn was always friendly, but this was cuddling and that was different. Or wasn’t it? Maybe it wasn’t. But it _felt_ different.

Poe decided not to care and let his head fall against Finn’s, making Finn hum contentedly, and Poe had to think of the blue milk custard dream again. He suddenly felt very hot even though there was a slight breeze blowing today.

“People are probably watching us,” he said, his heart beating too quickly.

Finn shrugged slightly. “So?”

“So,” Poe said reluctantly. “They might talk.”

“We’ll talk back at them,” Finn said.

 

Snap and Nien laughed uproariously.

“It’s not funny!” Poe said.

“It’s hilarious,” Snap said. “Poe, you’re whipped.”

“I’m not – how do you – where – this isn’t –“

The two of them just kept laughing.

“Stop it,” Poe said. “It’s not like that.” Even though it was like that, at least from where he was standing.

Nien nearly spit out his drink.

Snap grinned. “You are so obvious.”

“How am I obvious?” Poe put down his cutlery. He wasn’t obvious, was he?

“Yeah, yesterday, that whole sitting in the sun cuddling –“

“We weren’t cuddling!”

Nien was grinning into his food.

“Come on, Poe. We’re supportive. It was cute and everything,” Snap said.

“No, you don’t understand – it’s nothing like that – we were just sitting –“

“Really close,” Snap said with an absolutely shit-eating grin. “Snuggly.”

Poe groaned. “Forget it,” he muttered.

“It’ll be even better when he gets out more often once he’s well enough,” Snap said. “The lunches… the dinners… we’ll have the time of our lives watching you pine for him.”

“What do you mean?” Poe asked, alarmed.

“Well, he’s going to spend his time with us, isn’t he? He doesn’t know anyone else, ‘cause Rey’s gone away, so what else is he gonna do?“

Poe stared at him open-mouthed. “I guess,” he said. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Finn to meet his friends. It was just that he wanted Finn to himself, looking all happy when Poe came to visit. He wanted Finn to smile at him, and laugh with him, and tell him to better come by again the next day, and to tell Poe to tell BB-8 that Kalonia had said the accusatory beeping was detrimental to his healing process.

He was startled by Nien waving a hand in front of his face and calling his name.

“What?” Poe said.

“We said, why don’t you just make a move?” Snap asked.

“Because we’re friends and I don’t know how he feels about me.”

“So you admit it!” Snap said, pointing at him with a knife.

Poe felt vaguely threatened and pushed Snap’s hand down. “I never denied it in the first place,” he said.

“Oh,” Snap said with a shrug. “Yeah.”

“Hey, everyone,” Jess said.

Poe jumped up. “Jess! You’re back,” he said, giving her a hug.

“How’d it go?” Snap asked as Jess sat down.

“Oh, you know. Had a plan and a strategy. Didn’t work out. Blew stuff up.”

“Good,” Poe said.

Nien high-fived Jess.

“So, how’ve you guys been?”

“Wanting to hear about your infatuation,” Poe said.

“What?”

“With a certain Rey,” Snap explained.

Jess rolled her eyes. “Leave me alone, guys. I thought she was cute, that’s all.”

“Sure,” Poe said, grinning.

“Careful, Poe,” she said, grinning back at him. “You know how they say people in clari-crystalline ships shouldn’t use their blasters.”

“What do you mean?” Poe asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Jess said. “I just ran into BB-8 on my way here and he told me you’ve been neglecting him ‘cause you’re in looooove.”

Poe put his forehead onto the table. “Just – someone shoot me.”

“Nah, no way, too boring,” Jess said. “We’re gonna have fun! I wanna meet this guy! Is he the really cute deserter?”

“Don’t say that,” Poe said before he could stop himself.

“Why not? Isn’t he?” Jess asked innocently. “Or do you want him all to yourself and feel threatened by my statement?”

Poe sighed. “I hate you.”

“Ooooh,” Jess said. “I see. Now I definitely have to check him out. Make sure he’s good enough for you.” She kissed Poe’s cheek and he pretended to be annoyed with her.

Snap and Nien laughed.

“So,” Jess said. “Rey’s not back yet, huh?”

“Hah!” Poe shouted, pointing at her. “I knew it!”

“No, you didn’t,” everyone else said.

“We told you,” Snap said. “You had no idea before that.”

“It’s not like that,” Jess protested. “I just thought she was hot.”

“I wish my life was that simple,” Poe said.

“I wish I had the kind of non-problems you guys have,” Snap said.

Nien was eating happily, watching them talk.

Poe thought he was lucky to have his friends. Now, all he needed to do was to keep Jess from embarrassing him in front of Finn.

 

That whole thing didn’t work out the way he had hoped it would. When he visited Finn the next day, Jess was sitting in Poe’s chair and talking to Finn.

“Jess!” Poe said. “What are you doing here?”

“I was visiting Finn,” she said. “We had a really fun talk.”

“Uh, right,” Poe said. “What did you talk about?”

Finn opened his mouth to reply, but Jess interrupted him. “All sorts of things,” she said, smirking.

He mouthed a curse at her and she winked at him and got up. “Well, I’ll be on my way,” she said. “Bye, Finn. It was nice talking to you.”

“Bye,” Finn said, watching her leave. As soon as she’d gone, he turned to Poe. “She’s very nice but I have a feeling she didn’t visit me out of the goodness of her heart.”

“What – what did she tell you?” Poe asked nervously, sitting down.

“She didn’t really tell me anything – she asked all about Rey. I didn’t know she’d met her.”

Poe released a breath he hadn’t noticed he’d been holding. “Yeah,” he said. “We all met Rey before she left.”

“Did you,” Finn said, apparently thinking hard. “Did you like her?”

“I –“ Poe started. “I – guess. She was nice. I didn’t talk to her for that long.”

“Good,” Finn said. “That you think she’s nice. That’s important to me.”

“Okay,” Poe said.

Finn sat up with a smile. “And they’ll let me out soon! For real, I mean, and by myself. Not just to get fresh air.”

“That’s great!” Poe said. “What are you gonna do then?”

“Well,” Finn said. “I’m not sure –“

What if he was going to leave? Poe hadn’t even considered it a possibility, but what if Finn didn’t want to stay with him? What if he didn’t want to fight with the Resistance?

“I’d like to do something useful, and General Organa came by to tell me I could train with the Resistance troops, you know, but Kalonia said that’s gonna take a while. She’s not letting me do anything like that yet.”

“So you’re gonna stay?” Poe asked.

“Of course I’m gonna stay!” Finn said. “What, did you think I was just going to up and leave?”

Poe shrugged.

“You did!” Finn said.

“I wasn’t sure whether you’d want to stay. I mean, before that, you only wanted to get out of the First Order and then find Rey and she’s obviously not here right now –“

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Before. Poe, it’s nothing like that now! I want to stay with you.”

Finn wanted to stay with him! Well, he probably meant all of the people here. But still! That included Poe, and that was something.

“That’s – really good,” Poe managed.

Finn smiled at him. “Yeah,” he said softly. “I thought so.”

 

“He’s acceptable,” Jess told him in the evening as they were checking on their X-wings. “Cute, you know, for a guy. Funny. A bit awkward, though.”

“Yeah,” Poe said, smiling.

Jess snapped her fingers in front of his face. “Hello,” she said. “I’m still here.”

“Sorry.”

“Anyway, he’s nice, and totally into you. He was going on and on about you…”

Poe coughed. “I don’t – think –“

She shrugged. “I’m not going to try and convince you. You’ll never believe me no matter what I say.”

She had a point. Poe decided to not delve into that topic. “Well, he said you asked him all about Rey!”

“I did,” she said, grinning shamelessly.

Poe shook his head. “You’re terrible.”

“I’m awesome,” she said. “Now go. BB-8’s been waiting for you.”

Poe jogged over to where BB-8 was talking to C-3PO.

“Master Poe,” C-3PO said. “How are you today?”

“Fine, thanks, and you?” Poe said.

“Very well, thank you. Excuse me, I must go speak to those droids over there. What do they think they’re doing? Mech droids, really…” He walked off.

BB-8 shocked Poe’s leg and beeped indignantly.

“I know, I’m sorry, there’s just been a lot going on.”

BB-whistled, clearly insulted. Poe sat down next to him and patted his head. “I really am,” he said.

The little droid whooped, still a little haughty, but he didn’t roll away, which Poe took as a good sign.

BB-8 whistled and Poe laughed. “Of course you’re still my favorite.”

 

He ran into Finn in a corridor. It took him a moment to realize that that was significant.

“Finn!” he said. “You’re walking around.”

“Yeah,” Finn said, leaning against the wall. “Slowly and with interruptions, but hey.”

“Better than nothing,” Poe said.

Finn nodded. “Definitely.”

“Do you wanna get some food?” Poe asked.

“Yeah, sure. It’s lunchtime anyway. Is there places to get food?”

“Well,” Poe said. “There’s a canteen.”

“Okay,” Finn said. “Can’t be worse than what Kalonia fed me.”

“Hopefully not,” Poe said, leading the way.

He should’ve expected that as soon as they’d sat down, Snap, Nien and Jess would join them.

“Hey,” Snap said, smirking. “Good to see you’re well, Finn.”

“Thanks,” Finn said. “Uh – Temmin?”

“Snap,” Snap said.

“Right,” Finn said.

“You’ve met Jess,” Poe said resignedly. “And this is Nien.”

Nien gave Finn a wave.

Finn smiled. “Nice to meet you guys,” he said.

Nien nodded.

Snap said, “Yeah, likewise.”

Jess said, “Jury’s still out.”

Poe rubbed his temples.


	4. Chapter 4

It was torture.

Finn was training – at least a little, just as much as Kalonia would let him – and Poe was watching him. He was this close to jumping Finn.

This was bad.

“This is bad,” Finn said.

“Yes!” Poe agreed. “Wait, what?”

“Look at me! I can’t do anything.” Finn pretended to draw a blaster. It was a pretty sorry sight.

“That’s normal, Finn,” Poe said. “You haven’t done anything besides lie down for the past few weeks. Of course you’re gonna need time to get back into it.”

Finn stretched carefully, pulling a face. “Ow, ow, ow.”

“Stop that,” Poe said, gently pulling Finn’s arm back down from where he’d lifted it over his head. “You’re hurting yourself.”

“That’s the way to do it,” Finn said. “I won’t be sitting around any longer. It’s time to get up and – do stuff.”

“If you say so,” Poe said, smiling. “Just be careful.”

“You know me. Careful as anything.”

Poe laughed. He couldn’t look at Finn. He wanted to stay here, in this empty room, this close to Finn, for the rest of the day. And the night. And the next day.

“Poe,” Finn said.

“Sorry, what?”

“You still with me?”

“Always,” Poe said.

Finn looked at him. “Right,” he said. He was so, so close. Poe could’ve touched him by leaning in only very slightly.

“Right,” Poe said, whishing he’d never been born. “I think I’ve gotta go check on my ship.”

He ran.

 

“Manly,” Jess said, polishing the controls of her X-wing. “Really, I’m impressed.”

“Very much,” Snap agreed. “Were you squealing as you fled?”

“I hate you,” Poe said. “And no, I wasn’t!”

BB-8 whooped.

“You weren’t there!” Poe said, and BB-8 rolled away whistling. Poe turned to Snap and Jess. “He wasn’t there! I did not squeal! It was not pathetic.”

The other two laughed. “Right, Poe,” Snap said.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Jess said.

“Really, guys? How about some squad support?”

“You know we’re all rooting for you, Poe,” Snap said.

“You’re just really easy to make fun off,” Jess said with a shrug. “And you guys’ve been teasing me!”

“Yeah,” Poe said. “’Cause you only met Rey once, for about two minutes.”

“Enough to be able to tell she is very, very cute,” Jess said cheerily.

“You’re terrible,” Poe said, sitting down by his X-wing. “I need some advice instead of you making fun of me.”

“Make a move,” both Jess and Snap said simultaneously.

“Useful advice! Advice I like!”

“Sorry, no can do,” Snap said.

Jessika snickered.

“Maybe I should,” Poe said. “Make a move, I mean.”

“Yes!” the others shouted.

“But maybe he wouldn’t like it…”

“Really, Poe? Really?” Jess said. “Either be decisive, or quiet, or gone, okay?”

Poe settled on 'quiet'. He had enough thoughts to keep him occupied for a while anyway.

 

He met with General Organa later that day.

“Poe,” she said, giving him a smile. “How have you been doing?”

“Uh, pretty good, thanks,” he said.

She nodded. “Are you feeling more confident in regard to going on missions?”

“Oh,” he said. “Well… yeah, I guess. Yes,” he added with more certainty.

“We need to send someone to Jakku again. We have an informant there who has acquired news of where Snoke might be hiding until the First Order regains its strength.”

“I’ll go,” Poe said. “Of course.”

“Good, thank you. I’m sure you will be successful.”

“Thank you, General,” Poe said.

Jakku. That was just great.

 

“Jakku? Again?” Snap said as Nien and Jess laughed. “Poe, your missions suck.”

Poe threw up his hands. “What do you want from me? I don’t go on a mission, you complain, now I’m going and you’re still complaining!”

“We’re not complaining,” Jess said. “We just think it’s funny that you always get sent to the crappy places.”

“It’s a critical mission!”

“Uh-huh,” Snap said. “A very important mission. On Jakku. You’ll have loads of fun, I bet.”

“You can get a tan,” Jess said with a giggle.

“Very funny,” Poe said.

Finn sat down with them, right next to Poe, and Poe realized that he didn’t want to tell him. Maybe Finn would get angry, or disappointed – or, even worse, maybe he wouldn’t care at all if Poe was gone.

The others seemed to sense that he hadn’t told Finn about his critical mission yet, and thankfully changed the subject.

“So, Finn,” Snap asked. “How’s the training going?”

“Very slowly,” Finn said. “But at least it is.”

“You’re doing great,” Poe said.

Jess coughed and smirked. “I bet you’ve observed Finn train, haven’t you, Poe?”

Poe glared.

“Oh, he has,” Finn said, oblivious. “It really makes it much less boring to have you there, Poe.”

Poe couldn’t help but smile at Finn. “I don’t mind it, anyway,” he said. “I wouldn’t want you to go crazy with boredom.”

Finn laughed. “It’s much better now than when I could only lie down,” he said. “Not fun. Stay away from lightsaber-swinging maniacs, guys.”

“Oh, good of you to share that piece of advice,” Snap said. “I’d planned on doing that, but now that you’ve said it wasn’t a good idea, I’ll think it over again.”

“I’m full of wisdom,” Finn said with a wide grin. Then he turned to Poe. “By the way, BB-8 was nice to me today. I’m not sure what he said, but it sounded a lot less threatening than usual.”

“That’s good,” Poe said.

“Now why would BB-8 dislike you, Finn?” Snap asked.

“I can’t think of a reason,” Jess mused.

Nien tried to hide a laugh.

“BB-8 likes Finn,” Poe said. “He sometimes shocks me as well. He means it nicely.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Finn said sarcastically.

“No, he does! He’s just a bit – wary. He hasn’t known you for that long.”

“He hasn’t known Rey any longer and he likes her well enough,” Finn said.

“Everyone likes Rey,” Jess said.

“You especially,” Snap added.

Jess frowned at him. “That’s neither here nor there. This is about BB-8.”

“Where is he, by the way?” Snap said. “I haven’t seen him all day.”

“C-3PO was talking to him earlier, complaining about the medical droids, I think,” Finn said. “It could take a while, I’m pretty sure.”

Jess stretched her back. “Well, I’m off,” she said. “Test flight. See you later.”

Snap and Nien also took off until it was only Poe and Finn sitting at the table.

“So,” Poe said.

“So,” Finn said. He smiled and Poe smiled back.

“Are you jealous because BB-8 doesn’t like you? ‘Cause he does.”

“Oh, no,” Finn said. “It’s fine, I know. He’s sometimes a little – prickly, but that’s him.”

“Yeah,” Poe said. “Everyone here likes you, you know?”

“Especially you,” Finn said. He’d inclined his head slightly and narrowed his eyes as if he was trying to read Poe’s mind.

“Especially me,” Poe said. His mouth felt very dry, and his heart was beating so fast it was almost embarrassing.

“Good,” Finn said with a smile, getting up. “I’d be insulted if it was different.”

“Where are you going?” was all Poe could think to say.

“To see Kalonia for a check-up,” Finn said. “If I’m lucky, I might get my own room far away from the sickbay eventually. Wish me luck, okay?”

“Sure,” Poe said, watching Finn leave the room.

Poe felt as if he’d just run into a wall very abruptly.

 

BB-8 beeped.

“Because he might not like it,” Poe said.

BB-8 beeped again.

“I know he’ll find out, and I am going to tell him before I leave. By the way, be nice to him. He thinks you don’t like him.”

BB-8 whistled.

“No, he is not stealing me,” Poe said, running both hands through his hair. “Seriously, BB-8.”

BB-8 whooped.

“No,” Poe said. “I’m not going to tell him.”

BB-8 beeped again.

“No!” Poe said. “I am not hoping for him to kiss me.”

BB-8 whistled.

“Because he won’t.”

BB-8 whirred.

“I'm not stupid!” Poe said, sitting up. “You’re stupid.”

BB-8 beeped, nudged him and Poe smiled grudgingly. “Of course you’re coming with me,” he said. “I wouldn’t find my way around the galaxy without you, would I?”

BB-8 whooped.

“Alright, alright,” Poe said. “I’m going.”

 

He found Finn training, again.

“Be careful,” Poe said, leaning against the wall. “You should take your time. Otherwise you might get hurt.”

“You sound like Kalonia,” Finn said, aiming his blaster at the training screen and cursing when he missed.

“You’ll be fine,” Poe said. “Why don’t you take a break?”

Finn nodded and wiped his forehead. And took off his shirt. Poe tried really, really hard not to stare.

Finn threw down his blaster and stood in front of Poe. “Why did you come here?”

“Can’t I just drop by to see you?”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “But when you do that, you smile. You’ve got a serious face now.” He raised a hand and traced the frown on Poe’s forehead.

“Do I?” Poe asked, his mouth dry.

Finn nodded. “Actually, you’ve been strange all day.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Poe said.

“That’s okay.” Finn just looked at him and didn’t say anything else.

“Are you okay?” Poe asked randomly.

Finn chuckled. “Yeah,” he said. “I mean, running isn’t that easy, or rolling –“ he grimaced – “but it’s all getting better.”

He turned to look at the door, as if to check if someone else was there. Before Poe could stop himself, he’d reached out a hand and touched the only barely healed wounds on Finn’s back. Finn flinched and turned towards him.

“Sorry,” Poe said, horrified. “I didn’t – did that hurt?”

“No,” Finn said. “You can always do that, if you want.”

Poe laughed and looked down. “I’ll get back to you on that,” he said, pulling Finn into a hug. They hugged quite a lot anyway, so he figured that was okay.

Finn seemed to think so, at least, because he hugged Poe back.

Poe pulled away after way too long – it should have been more awkward than it was, really – but Finn’s hands were still on his waist, and Poe couldn’t step back further. He really couldn’t. He was close enough to feel Finn’s warmth, and he didn’t want to lose that.

“So,” Finn said. “Why did you come by? You want to tell me something, don’t you? Something I won’t like?”

Poe racked his brain. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t even feel anything besides Finn’s hands on his waist.

“I –“ he said. “I didn’t – Finn –“

Finn kissed him. Poe wasn’t even surprised, because it was that sort of a moment. He just kissed back right away, because this was really very good. Finn’s lips were soft and warm, and Finn wrapped his arms around Poe’s waist more tightly. Poe managed to bring a hand up to cup Finn’s jaw, and Finn seemed to approve, at least going by the way he moaned against Poe’s lips and then parted his own, which was even better.

Poe wasn’t sure how long it had been when he pulled away to breathe. He was a little worried Finn wouldn’t like that, but he didn’t seem to mind, sliding his lips down to Poe’s neck and laughing against his skin. “Stars, Poe,” he said, then paused to suck on the skin right beneath Poe’s jawbone. When he continued speaking, Poe needed to pull himself together just to understand the words.

“I’ve wanted this,” Finn murmured, his hands now busy exploring beneath Poe’s shirt, and Poe wasn’t going to let Finn get to do all the touching, so he slid his hands down Finn’s back to his hips, and, after hesitating briefly – because did Finn really want this? – further down. Finn surging up to kiss him again told him, that, yes, Finn apparently really did want this – whatever this was turning into.

“You have no idea,” Finn whispered when they broke apart again.

“Oh,” Poe said. “Trust me, I really do.”

Finn laughed that laugh that always reminded Poe of escaping in a stolen TIE-fighter and the feeling of utter euphoria fueled by adrenaline he’d had then.

“Finn,” he said, because he needed to tell Finn that he was going away first.

“Poe,” Finn said, playfully tugging at Poe’s shirt. “Can you take that off? Or, better, can I take it off you?”

He gave Poe a pleading, hopeful, cheeky look that made Poe’s heart skip a beat. This was it, he thought. He was completely and utterly lost, there was no way he’d ever be able to fall out of love with Finn. He suspected there hadn’t been a way for a long time, but now he was sure. He hardly knew what to say.

“I –“ he managed.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Finn assured him immediately.

“No – I mean, yes, it’s just – I have to tell you something first.”

Finn leaned away slightly, but his arms were still wrapped around Poe, and he didn’t seem to feel like letting go, which was perfectly alright with Poe.

“I spoke to the General yesterday,” Poe said. “And – I’m being sent on a mission. Just really briefly, you know, but someone has to –“

“Can I go with you?” Finn asked.

Poe shook his head. He wouldn’t have Finn in danger like that, even if General Organa and Kalonia had allowed it, but there was no way they would in the first place. “You know you need to stay here,” Poe said. “You can train and heal and next time…” He trailed off.

Finn bit his lip. “When do you leave?” he asked.

“Well,” Poe said. “Uh – later today.”

Finn winced. “And for how long?”

“I don’t know. If everything goes smoothly, I won’t be long.”

“Things never run smoothly,” Finn said.

“No,” Poe said. “I guess they don’t.”

Finn was rubbing circles over Poe’s hip. Poe wondered whether he knew he was doing that.

“Where are they sending you?” Finn asked.

Poe cleared his throat. “Uh,” he said. “Jakku.”

“Jakku!” Finn said. “Are you kidding me?”

“I wish,” Poe said.

Finn sighed. “So,” he said. “Are we talking about this before or after?”

Poe wanted to answer, even though he had no idea what to say. Before he could, though, C-3PO came in. “Master Poe,” he said. “It’s good to find you here. The Prin – the General wants to speak to you.”

“Thanks, C-3PO,” Poe said.

“That probably means ‘after’,” Finn said.

 


	5. Chapter 5

BB-8 was quietly rolling along next to Poe. When they’d landed, he’d beeped a complaint about the sand, but he’d been very careful since then – even though according to Resistance recon the First Order hadn’t been to Jakku since Poe had gone to meet Lor San Tekka, there were all sorts of people here who wouldn’t have minded capturing a Resistance pilot and a droid full of useful information.

Jakku was even more depressing than the last time Poe had been there. People didn’t look at them, instead keeping their heads down as they walked around the outpost.

Poe could almost hear Finn’s voice in his head: “Why does everything happen on Jakku? It’s in the middle of nowhere, and it’s blazing depressing!”

Great, now he was thinking of that kiss they’d shared. Which had been far from blazing depressing, but shouldn’t be distracting him right now.

Poe grinned and BB-8 whooped quietly.

“I was not thinking of him,” Poe said.

He could tell BB-8 didn’t believe him, which was fair enough.

Poe had put on inconspicuous clothing and had generously applied blue paint to BB-8’s white-and-orange casing. BB-8 had not been happy about it, but he hadn’t allowed Poe to take another droid, and Poe hadn’t wanted to, so blue paint it was. Poe had spent way too long having to assure BB-8 that the paint would be easy to get rid of again. BB-8 was just too noticeable, especially since the First Order had been wanting to find him, and especially on Jakku.

BB-8 whistled.

Poe smirked. “I think blue suits you.”

BB-8 beeped indignantly and added a whirr right after.

“Yes, I know Rey used to live here. You’ve told me, and she’s told me, and Finn’s told me, and loads of other people have told me as well.”

BB-8 whooped.

“I am not jealous of Rey,” Poe said. “I’ve only met her once, and we barely spoke.”

BB-8 rolled ahead. Poe suspected he was doing it in order to suppress a sarcastic comment, and that suited Poe just fine. He didn’t need BB-8 to analyze his feelings right now. They had to concentrate if they wanted to be successful.

Poe walked through the outpost, subtly looking around and taking in everything. General Organa had told him that their informant, a certain Zuvio, would find him, so he didn’t have much to do right now except get an overview of the situation and plan possible escape routes if it escalated.

BB-8 whistled.

“I know you were here with him,” Poe said. He imagined Finn stumbling around, desperate for water as he must have been, wearing Poe’s jacket. Poe liked that image. Not the one of Finn nearly dying of dehydration, but the one of Finn in his jacket. He was glad he’d told Finn to keep it, because now he got to look at Finn wearing it nearly the entire time.

BB-8 beeped and made that strange noise that Poe interpreted as a laugh.

“I don’t think being beaten up and shocked was as funny for him as it was for you,” Poe said, smiling nonetheless. He wouldn’t have minded being there for BB-8 and Finn’s first meeting.

BB-8 whooped.

Poe sighed. “It’s not my fault that whoever we’re supposed to meet isn’t here yet!”

BB-8 whirred.

“Everything is not always my fault!”

They kept walking and bickering, but Poe couldn’t stop smiling. He suspected BB-8 was doing this on purpose to cheer him up, and it was working.

Suddenly, Poe was being pulled around a corner into an empty space between two tents. BB-8 followed him with an alarmed beep and got out his shocker.

Poe raised a hand to stop BB-8. He was looking into a pair of yellow, sharp-looking eyes, and he suspected that this was their mysterious informant.

“Hi,” Poe said.

“Poe Dameron?” the person asked. Poe couldn’t see him properly as it was dark, but if pressed he would have said he was a Kyuzo.

“Zuvio?” Poe asked.

“No names,” the guy said. His Basic was heavily accented.

BB-8 got his shocker back out.

“Sorry,” Poe said. “I’m gonna need a name.”

“Zuvio, yes,” the Kyuzo said, grudgingly. “And I was told the BB-8 unit was white and orange.”

BB-8 whooped indignantly.

“I know you don’t like the blue,” Poe hissed. “Not the time, BB-8.”

BB-8 beeped haughtily.

“It does not make you look too oval,” Poe said.

Zuvio coughed politely but strictly.

“Oh, sorry,” Poe said.

BB-8 whirred the same thing. Somehow he did it sarcastically.

“So, what information do you have for us?” Poe asked, lowering his voice so they wouldn’t be overheard.

“I don’t want my name to be associated with any information,” Zuvio said. “If anyone not associated with the Resistance comes to know I offered my help, I am dead.”

“You’re not opposed to the First Order?” Poe asked.

“That’s not the question,” Zuvio said. “I have the information for you, and it will help the Resistance. But this is Jakku. Here, your allegiances on a galactic scale are secondary. It matters who you support in this outpost, on this planet, and I’m law enforcement. I have a duty to the Niima Outpost. I am neutral.”

Poe nodded. “I understand,” he said.

“No one who hasn’t lived on a planet like Jakku understands this,” the Kyuzo said. “But thank you regardless. I see that you try.”

“Uh, yeah, no problem,” Poe said. “So can we get to the point?”

“You humans,” Zuvio said, but he didn’t seem angry, more amused. “Yes, we can get to the point. We don’t have much time. There’s people on this planet who have much to gain if they capture a Resistance pilot and a BB-8 unit that is rumored to hold very sensitive information. It’s a wonder they sent you out.”

“I’m the best,” Poe said with a shrug.

Zuvio ignored him and pulled a bundle of folded-up sheets out of his pocket.

Poe raised his eyebrows. “Paper?” he asked, taking the bundle and putting it in the inside pocket of the jacket he was wearing.

“The Resistance will have to content itself with this,” Zuvio said. “It contains observations of various trustworthy associates of mine that, although worthless on their own, can be pieced together to draw a reliable conclusion on the whereabouts of Snoke and his closest commanders.”

“And where would these whereabouts be?” Poe would have to remember that one and make Finn say it five times really quickly when he got back.

Zuvio looked around. “You’ll have to read it. Bring it to the General. She will know what to do with it. It will require some work to be useful, but useful it will be.”

“I hope so,” Poe said. “Thank you.”

Zuvio nodded at him. “I am honored to aid the Resistance in any manner I can.”

He disappeared between the tents before Poe could think of a reply.

Poe and BB-8 exchanged a look.

“I know,” Poe said. “Informants and allies are always so mysterious. I think it makes them feel important. Now let’s get out of here.”

 

They didn’t get out.

Poe wasn’t even sure how it happened, but one moment he and BB-8 were making their way back to his X-wing, and the next he was being shot at by at least three people.

BB-8 beeped something very rude and took cover behind Poe. Typical.

Poe was so busy firing back at the attackers that he nearly stumbled over something on the ground. He looked down and saw that it was Zuvio. The Kyuzo was moving weakly, but he didn’t look good. They needed to get him somewhere safer.

People were screaming and hiding, which was good because it allowed Poe to fire more indiscriminately now that everyone was out of the way, at least until a shot hit him in the ribs. He yelled and cursed because it really hurt. Someone jumped him and punched him in the stomach. BB-8 shocked them, but there were two others, so it didn’t do much good.

The last thing Poe thought before a syringe was pushed into his arm and everything went black was that he should’ve had that talk with Finn before he had left.

 

Poe woke up feeling like he’d been drinking all night. No, even worse, actually. He looked around – the room was small and not very clean, windowless. He could hear the humming of the ship’s engines, though. From the sound of it, he was on a small freighter. BB-8 was nowhere to be seen, which was pretty worrying. BB-8 didn’t usually leave Poe’s side of his own free will, unless he was pretending to be insulted.

Poe’s body hurt all over, especially his head and his ribs. Presumably from being sedated and shot. He checked, and found a haphazardly applied bandage. Better than nothing, and at least he wasn’t dead. Whoever had captured him apparently wanted him alive. Or maybe they just wanted to torture him first, and then kill him for fun. Best not to think about it.

He checked his jacket and groaned when he didn’t encounter the papers Zuvio had given him. His attackers must have taken them off him after he’d lost consciousness. He ran his hands over his face. It wasn’t going to do any good to pity himself now, he had to find BB-8 and get out, and maybe he’d manage to find the papers and take them with him.

He got up and carefully pressed his ear against the door of the room. For a moment, there was nothing to hear, but then steps approached. Poe stepped back and leaned against the wall. Maybe he should jump whoever was coming in and try to get a weapon. He wouldn’t stand much of a chance without one.

Two people, bounty hunters by the look of them, entered the room. Overpowering them definitely wasn’t an option, Poe decided disappointedly.

“He’s awake,” the taller one of them said.

“He looks beat up,” the other one said.

“He’s right here,” Poe said. “And you’re being pretty rude.”

They looked at him with disdain.

“Where’s my droid?” Poe asked.

They laughed. “He has a lot of useful information,” the shorter one said.

Poe balled his fists, but forced himself to speak calmly. “Why did you capture me? Are you bounty hunters?”

“Yeah,” the taller one said. “You’re worth a lot, Dameron. The First Order really wants to find you. Not as much as they want some other people, but you’re still worth some money.”

Poe would have been insulted – ‘some money’, that was all? – if he hadn’t been busy thinking of possible ways to escape.

“I escaped from the First Order once,” Poe said. Memories of flying that TIE-fighter with Finn washed over him. “I’ll do it again.”

“Not this time,” the shorter one said. “We’re delivering you directly to Supreme Leader Snoke.”

That actually wasn’t too bad, Poe thought. That way he’d know where the First Order was hiding. Of course, it would be a lot harder to escape, but he’d hopefully figure something out.

They left him a little water but no food and locked the door behind them. Poe drank his water slowly and kept some for later – who knew when they’d next give him anything to drink. Then he sat down against the wall and made plans.

Or he tried to make plans. What he actually ended up doing was thinking of Finn.

 

Poe wasn’t sure how long he’d been on this ship by now. He suspected the bounty hunters put in his water to sedate him because he felt confused most of the time. He’d stopped drinking it as of late, but he knew that wasn’t a long-term strategy. His ribs hurt worse every day, the cold metal floor probably wasn’t helping the healing process. He still hadn’t been able to make a reliable escape plan and he hadn’t seen BB-8. Poe wasn’t a pessimist, but the situation wasn’t looking great.

Until he heard shouting and hurried steps outside his door. Something had to be going wrong. Maybe he could use it as an opportunity –

The door flew open and the shorter bounty hunter glowered at him. “You!” he snarled. “How did you alert them?”

“I didn’t alert anyone,” Poe said. “I was in here the entire time.” He tried not to get his hopes for escaping up, but it seemed that these bounty hunters were pretty stupid, which was probably going to be helpful.

The guy punched the wall and started off down the corridor, the door sliding shut behind him. Before it could close completely, Poe put his hand in the gap. He had to fight a scream, but the heavy metal door stayed open. The bounty hunter had already left. Poe checked that he was alone in the hallway, then decided to venture in the opposite direction of the shorter bounty hunter, trying not to look at his hand. He couldn’t feel his fingers very well, except for the pain. He suspected that wasn’t good, but at least he was out.

He needed to find BB-8 first. He wasn’t going to leave without him anyway. If he encountered the papers on the way, all the better, because he wasn’t going to leave without them either. They were the reason he’d been sent on this mission in the first place, after all, and it looked like they were going to be essential in finding out what the First Order was up to, or at least where its most powerful agents were hiding.

He snuck down the corridor. Not knowing where he was or what was going on made thinking of an escape plan pretty difficult.

He peered into a room whose door was half-open, finding it empty. Might as well start here, he thought, and began looking through the drawers of the desk and on the shelves. Maybe he’d find the papers somewhere.

Checking the room didn’t take long, as it was very small, and he wasn’t surprised that the papers weren’t in there. He needed to keep moving anyway, preferably towards the escape pods, if the ship had any.

He turned around to leave the room and ran straight into Rey.


	6. Chapter 6

“Rey?” Poe asked.

“Hello, Poe, good to see you again,” she said in her nice accent. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Right,” Poe said, deciding not to question her.

Rey led the way down the corridor, carefully checking around the corners. Poe noticed the lightsaber dangling from her belt. Obviously, she had started training with Luke Skywalker.

“So, uh, you’re a Jedi now?” Poe asked.

She gave him a look. “Let’s talk about those things after we’ve escaped, alright?”

“Yeah, good idea,” Poe said. He cleared his throat. “Uh, who else –“

“Of course Finn is here,” she said.

Poe wasn’t sure whether to be happy – Finn had come to rescue him! – or worried – Finn was in danger here! He settled for a strange mix of both that made him feel pretty nauseous.

“How did you get here?” he asked.

“We took a ship, located this freighter by getting information out of some people on Jakku, followed it, and landed on it. Then I programmed our ship’s –“

“Sorry, but, can you leave out everything you programmed and rewired? Just for simplicity’s sake?”

“Fine,” Rey said, nodding. “We entered this ship, used Finn as bait, locked the crew in the engine room, and started searching for you. When we’ve got everything we need – you – we get back into our ship, detach, and leave. I have rigged the door of the engine room to only let the crew out in plenty of time, by then we’ll be long gone.”

“Oh,” Poe said, fairly impressed. “Good.”

“Thank you,” Rey said with a little smile.

“What are you doing here, though?” Poe asked. “You weren’t back when I left…” He trailed off, feeling stupid.

“I came back to D’Qar,” Rey said. “And as soon as I arrived, Finn came running at me, shouting that they’d just heard that your mission on Jakku went wrong. So we came to rescue you.”

“That’s – nice,” Poe said.

Rey shrugged. “You’re one of us,” she said, as if that explained everything. It sort of did, maybe. Poe wasn’t very sure what was going on with everyone.

She looked around another corner and whispered, “Finn! He’s here.”

A moment later, Finn skidded around the corner and came to a halt in front of Poe.

“Poe,” he said, just looking at him.

“Uh, hey,” Poe said.

“I can get you out of here,” Finn said with half a smile.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Poe said, taking a step towards him.

Finn hugged him, and Poe ruined the moment by hissing with pain.

“What is it? Are you hurt?” Finn asked, stepping back, eyes roaming over Poe to check for injuries.

“I got shot with a blaster,” Poe said. “But it’s fine, it doesn’t hurt that much.”

He could see Rey raising her eyebrows at him behind Finn, obviously doubting his honesty, but she didn’t say anything.

“And your hand?” Finn asked.

“Oh,” Poe said. “I got it stuck in a door –“ He stopped talking when Finn gently cradled Poe’s hand in both of his to take a look at it.

“Don’t worry,” Finn said grimly. “Rey is gonna kill these bastards with her force powers.”

“Not if I can avoid it,” Rey said. “Luke stresses being peaceful a lot.”

“Okay, then I’m gonna kill them,” Finn said.

“We have to get out of here first,” Rey said diplomatically.

“We need to find BB-8,” Poe said.

“They’ve got BB-8?” Rey asked, scowling.

“Where is he?” Finn asked.

“I don’t know,” Poe said. “But I’m not going without him.”

“Don’t worry, neither are we,” Finn said.

Rey nodded.

“And the papers,” Poe said.

“Papers?” Finn asked. “Like, really made of paper?”

“They’re old-fashioned on Jakku, apparently,” Poe said.

“You don’t say,” Finn and Rey said at the same time.

Poe rubbed his forehead. He really needed sleep. “Those papers have vital information about the whereabouts of the First Order on them,” he said. “That’s why I went on the mission in the first place.”

“Why is it always Jakku?” Finn asked.

“Okay,” Rey said, ignoring him. “We find BB-8, get those papers, and then leave.”

“We could split up,” Poe said. “That’d be quicker.”

“No,” Finn said. “No way.”

“Finn’s right,” Rey said. “We need to stick together. Just please tell me these people aren’t smuggling rathtars. Once was enough.”

 

They kept sneaking around the ship, checking in every room. It wasn’t that big a ship, but there were a lot of tiny rooms, presumably to keep captured bounty in. The passed by some sort of makeshift armory and Poe armed himself with a blaster. It still wasn’t ideal, because he had to use the wrong hand, but he wasn’t in a position to complain.

Finn opened the door to a room at the end of the corridor they were in, and were greeted by loud, indignant beeping.

“BB-8,” Poe said. “Here you are, my friend!”

BB-8 whirred.

“Yes, I’m fine.”

BB-8 turned to Rey and whooped.

“I missed you, too,” she said with a smile. “I’m fine, thank you, and you?”

BB-8 whistled.

“I feel so left out,” Finn grumbled, and Poe couldn’t hide a smile. Finn was cute when he grumbled. And now he was thinking about their kiss again, and this really wasn’t the time –

“Alright, let’s go,” Rey said.

“The papers,” Poe said, as BB-8 beeped the same thing.

Finn groaned. “We have no idea where they could be,” he said. “Maybe one of the bounty hunters has them, even.”

BB-8 beeped.

“No, we can’t take them,” Rey said. “There’s at least eight of them.”

Poe felt sick at these news. He’d thought there were three, four at the most. Eight was a whole different thing.

BB-8 hooted.

Rey sighed. “No, not even with the Force. And I’d prefer not to use the lightsaber.”

“Why not?” Finn asked.

“Because I’m at a stage where I’m just as likely to hurt you, or myself, instead of them.”

“Oh,” Finn said.

“We can’t leave without the information,” Poe said. “If we do, this whole thing will have been useless.”

Rey nodded. Finn crossed his arms but didn’t protest.

Poe opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by a loud clang that came from somewhere below them.

“What was that?” Finn asked.

“The engine room door,” Rey whispered.

“I thought it was only going open way after we’d left?” Poe asked.

“It was supposed to!” Rey said. “They must’ve got it open somehow.”

BB-8 beeped.

“Good idea,” Poe and Rey said.

“What did he say?” Finn asked.

“To run,” Rey said.

“Yeah, good idea,” Finn agreed.

“The papers!” Poe said.

“I’m not letting you die for some papers!” Finn said, taking Poe’s arm and pulling him down the corridor.

“Me neither,” Rey said.

_Me neither_ , BB-8 beeped.

Poe was touched yet angry. “The whole point of my mission was to get them!”

“The whole point of our mission is to get you back alive,” Finn said.

“And this is three against one,” Rey said.

“BB-8’s on my side!” Poe said.

BB-8 whistled to let everybody know, that, no, he was not on Poe’s side on that one.

Poe cursed. “This is important,” he said. “The whole galaxy –“

“Isn’t more important than you,” Finn said, sounding pretty angry himself.

Poe stopped in his tracks. “What?” he asked, wondering if he’d misheard.

Rey gave him a gentle push. “We really need to leave,” she said, just as the first bounty hunter burst into their corridor.

BB-8 got his shocker out and whooped accusatorily.

“This is not my fault!” Poe said.

They couldn’t get any further into the argument, because the bounty hunter was joined by his crewmates and they were busy fighting.

Finn pulled Poe behind his back. “That way,” he yelled, and Poe decided that now was a time to follow orders.

They backed up along the corridor, firing their blasters, BB-8 rolling along.

“Rey!” Finn shouted. “How about some Jedi fighting?”

Rey ignited her lightsaber, nearly decapitating BB-8, who beeped and rolled away from her.

“Sorry,” Rey shouted, but the determined look on her face made her look anything but. “Back up,” she called, deflecting a blaster shot, which had to be the coolest thing Poe had ever seen.

“Come on, hurry!” Finn said, dragging Poe along by his good arm.

Poe shot one of the bounty hunters, who fell to the ground, and Finn hit another one, who, while still fighting, was greatly slowed down.

Rey was busy deflecting shots, landing a few good hits at the same time.

Suddenly, though, she yelled and nearly dropped her lightsaber. She’d been hit in the arm. The bounty hunters were advancing on them quickly.

Poe, Finn, Rey and BB-8 hurried around a corner, gaining a few seconds’ protection.

“This way,” Finn rasped, out of breath, pulling Poe through another door.

Rey overtook them and opened a hatch in the low ceiling. “Up there, quickly!” she said.

Poe and Rey helped Finn up, then handed him BB-8.

Finn pulled up Rey, who took off where Poe couldn’t see her – presumably to the consoles. He then pulled up Poe, who tried very hard not to scream as his ribs and hand protested. The bounty hunters broke through the door, and then he was in the ship, Finn was closing the hatch and the engines roared to life, taking them away to safety.

 

Poe lay on the floor for a few moments, breathing, until Finn started stroking his hair, reminding him of how he’d failed. Poe wasn’t sure how those things were related, but he still pulled away.

Finn cleared his throat. “Right, sorry,” he said.

“Uh, no,” Poe said. “Thanks – for coming to get me.”

“That wasn’t a choice or anything,” Finn said seriously.

BB-8 beeped something that made Poe glad Finn couldn’t understand the droid.

“BB-8,” Poe said. “Go talk to Rey.”

BB-8 whirred brattily but rolled away. Poe suspected he and Rey would be able hear them talk – the ship seemed very small.

“Let me have a look at that,” Finn said, carefully taking Poe’s hand. “And your ribs.”

“I’m fine,” Poe said.

Finn didn’t even listen, instead getting up and coming back with a med kit.

“Right,” he said. “Not an expert at this, but since I managed to fix up Chewbacca, I figure I’ve got some natural talent.”

Poe laughed weakly, looking down.

They didn’t speak while Finn checked on his wounds, which was fine by Poe, because he was very occupied by trying to think of anything besides the feeling of Finn’s hands on his skin.

 

Poe sat down in the co-pilot’s chair. “Nice ship,” he said.

Rey shrugged. “I prefer the _Falcon_ ,” she said. “But it was too big for this.”

Poe nodded. “You’re a good pilot.”

“I like flying,” Rey said. “Always have. I don’t have much experience with off-planet travel, though. It’s mostly been frantic escapes.”

Poe chuckled. “Yeah,” he said. “Listen, thanks for rescuing me.”

“Don’t say that anymore,” Rey said. “We’re a team. At least we feel like one.”

“We do, kinda,” Poe agreed.

Rey nodded. “There you go,” she said. “And don’t worry about it.”

“About what?”

“The mission. Those papers.”

“Oh. I – I wasn’t –“

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Poe decided to ignore that, because as well-meaning as Rey was, this didn’t cheer him up very much.

“Do you know if – when you were talking to people on Jakku, did they say anything about someone called Zuvio?”

Rey lowered her head. “He’s dead,” she said.

Poe ran his hands over his face.

Rey put a hand on his shoulder. “There’s worse things to die for than the Resistance,” she said.

“But he – he died in vain,” Poe said. “I didn’t get the information.”

“He didn’t know that,” Rey said. “He died opposing the First Order.”

Poe stared out the window at the stars. He couldn’t think of anything to say.

“He’s not going to judge you for failing,” Rey said after a while.

“Who’s that?”

“Finn,” Rey said, because who else could she be talking about. “He only wanted you back. He didn’t care about your mission.”

“I cared about it. Still do,” Poe said. He didn’t know how he felt about this. He lived for the Resistance, he believed in it with all his heart. He’d thought it was important to Finn, too.

“Why don’t you get some sleep?” Rey said after a moment’s silence. “I’m fine here.”

“Yeah, okay,” Poe said, because he was at a stage where there was nothing that could have been more beautiful and desirable than sleep. Maybe Finn, but it was close.

Poe got up to go back to the common area. “By the way,” he said. “Nice fighting.”

“Thanks,” Rey said. “Tell BB-8 I’m sorry about nearly cutting his head off.”

“I think he’s forgiven you already,” Poe said, nodding at her.

In the common area, Finn was lying on one of the benches, asleep. He looked beautiful, his eyes closed, wrinkling his nose in his sleep, his chest rising and falling. It took Poe a while to look away, but as soon as his head hit the uncomfortable bench at the table, he fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Poe was woken up by BB-8 announcing they had landed.

A few moments later Rey entered the common area. “We’re back at the base,” she said.

Finn sat up and rubbed his eyes, then looked at Poe and laughed.

“What?” Poe asked self-consciously.

“Your hair looks funny,” Finn said.

Poe groaned. His hair was terrible in the mornings. But Finn had said funny. Maybe that meant something like cute. Maybe it just meant horrible. He was too tired for this.

“We need to get to Kalonia, all of us,” Rey said. “We all got hurt, and she’ll be furious, so we might as well get it over with.”

Finn got up. “Let’s go,” he said, wrapping his arm around Poe’s shoulders to help him out of the ship.

 

Kalonia was not happy. “All three of you need to be more careful,” she said. “Especially you,” she pointed at Finn. “You’re supposed to take it easy. As soon as I let you out of my sight, you run off on daring rescues...”

Finn grinned. Poe suspected he liked the image of himself as a daring rescuer.

“It’s my fault,” Poe said. “I got captured.”

“It’s not anybody’s fault,” Kalonia said. “Now, Poe, you’re staying overnight, and General Organa wants to see you as soon as possible. I told her it would have to wait until tomorrow if she wanted you to come to her, so she said she’d come by later. Finn, off with you, before you rob me of my last bit of sanity. Rey, it’s so nice to see you. It would be nicer if you hadn’t been injured. Luke Skywalker wants to speak with you, you had best go looking for him.”

Rey nodded. “Thanks, Kalonia.”

“You’re the best,” Finn said, winking at the doctor.

“Out,” Kalonia said, her lips twitching.

Finn and Rey smiled at Poe and left. Together. Poe tried to convince himself that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Finn and Rey were good friends after all. And Finn had kissed him – that felt like an eternity ago. They still had to talk about it. Or maybe Finn wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened. Please, please, Poe thought, anything but that.

“Stop worrying, it’s not good for you,” Kalonia told him. “What did you do to your hand?”

“Stuck it in a door,” Poe said tiredly.

Kalonia huffed. “Really,” she said. “Don’t be so cavalier about it. I know you were brave, you don’t need to pretend it doesn’t hurt. I’m a doctor, I can tell.”

Poe grimaced. “Alright, sorry.”

She nodded, but before she could say anything, there was a knock on the door and General Organa stepped inside.

“Poe,” the General said. “How nice to see you alive and more or less well.”

“Hello,” Poe said. He suddenly felt very inadequate. He’d ruined everything, he hadn’t got the information. “I’m sorry I failed,” he said.

“It’s a setback,” she said. “But it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have done anything.”

“I could’ve been more careful –“

The General raised a hand and Poe shut up. “I’ve spoken to BB-8, Finn, and Rey, and they have all assured me that you did your very best.”

“I got someone killed. Maybe even more people in that fight at the Niima Outpost.”

“You couldn’t have protected Zuvio,” General Organa said. “You were outnumbered and those bounty hunters were well-armed. According to BB-8, you did your best to fight them.”

“Wasn’t good enough,” Poe said, staring at the wall behind the General. He couldn’t look her in the eyes. He didn’t want to see the disappointment there.

“Poe, please don’t beat yourself up over this,” she said. Then she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry to have to ask you this right now when you should be resting, but did you get a look at the information? Did Zuvio mention anything?”

Poe shook his head, still not looking at her. “Only that various reliable sources of his had given him bits of information that were meaningless on their own, but useful together. I’d assume since Zuvio’s based on Jakku that means the First Order is hiding at least some important people somewhere in the Western Reaches as well, but that’s only speculation.”

The General nodded. “We will definitely try to figure out whether they are now acting from somewhere in that region.”

Poe nodded. He knew that this wasn’t any help. He should’ve read the papers. But then, you didn’t just read top-secret information meant for the General herself.

General Organa got up. “Thank you, Poe,” she said, and left.

Poe stared at the wall until he fell asleep.

 

BB-8 was there when he woke up. He was beeping strangely. It took Poe a while to realize that he was singing ‘Love Broke My Hyperdrive’, a song Poe and the squadron usually sang when they’d been drinking for hours. Poe laughed and BB-8 whooped, obviously proud of himself for cheering Poe up.

“That song isn’t appropriate for little droids,” Poe said.

BB-8 whistled.

“I know you’re very mature,” Poe said sarcastically.

The door opened and Kalonia came in. “How are you feeling, Poe?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Fine,” he said.

She pursed her lips, clearly not believing him. “Lift your arms, please,” she said.

He obeyed and she nodded, looking at him skeptically before making him do all kinds of movenments to test whether she could let him out of her sight. “Don’t exhaust yourself for a while,” she said eventually. “You’ll be fine.”

“Can I go?”

She nodded, smiling. “But be careful.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Okay.”

BB-8 rolled along next to him, whirring and beeping.

“I don’t know,” Poe said. “I’m not that hungry.”

BB-8 hooted.

“It’s not that I don’t want to see him – them, I just – I don’t know.”

BB-8 whistled, unimpressed, and led the way.

 

“Poe!” Jess was the first to spot him. “You’re back!”

“Yeah,” he said, sitting down.

BB-8 whirred.

“You didn’t want to see us?” Snap asked, pretending to be hurt.

“Traitor,” Poe said to BB-8, who merely beeped happily and rolled over to a corner where C-3PO and R2-D2 were talking.

“That’s so cute,” Jess said. “BB-8 admires them more than he admires you, Poe, I think.”

“That’s not true!” Poe said, crossing his arms.

Jess, Snap and Nien laughed.

“Oh,” Snap said. “Sore spot, okay.”

“He admires you, Poe, don’t worry,” Rey said. “He always talks about you.”

“Aww,” Jess said, leaning over and looking deeply into Rey’s eyes. “That’s so sweet.”

Nien coughed.

Jess ignored him.

Poe felt like crying. He’d never failed on a mission this badly. This was inexcusable. Surely his friends thought so, too, and were pretending otherwise not to upset him.

He got up. “I’m gonna go, I’ve got stuff to do,” he said.

The others looked up at him. He looked at them, all sitting together, smiling, and he wished he could just stop being angry at himself and everyone and enjoy himself with his friends.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Rey asked. She sounded concerned, and why? She didn’t even know him. Poe just wished everyone would leave him alone, and he felt guilty for that, which made him angrier.

“Yeah,” he said, forcing a smile. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

“Okay,” Snap said, sharing a look with Nien. “See you later.”

Poe nodded and left.

Finn caught up with him in the corridor, grabbing Poe’s arm. “Poe, wait,” he said.

“Now’s not a good time, Finn,” Poe said.

Finn crossed his arms.

Poe wanted to kiss him.

“What’s going on? You’re not upset about not getting those papers, are you?”

Poe stared at him. “Of course I’m upset about it,” he said. “It was the whole goal of the mission.”

“You could’ve died,” Finn said. “Aren’t you glad you made it out?”

“I – really don’t want to talk about this right now, Finn,” he said. He tried to keep his voice calm, but he didn’t do very well.

“You’re angry at me,” Finn said.

“No, no, I’m not.”

“Right.” Finn leaned back against the wall. “You are. Why? ‘Cause I got you out of there and didn’t let you go back for your precious papers?”

“You don’t understand – Don’t you care at all about the Resistance, about the future of the galaxy?”

“Of course I care,” Finn said. “You know I do. There’s just more important things.”

“No, not really,” Poe said.

Finn nodded. “I get it,” he said. “I know how important this is to you –“

“No, you don’t, or you would’ve let me go back!” Poe said.

Finn looked at him silently for a few moments. Then he said, “You’re angry at me because I’d lose the war to keep you safe?”

It knocked the breath out of Poe’s lungs. He didn’t know what to say.

He didn’t have to speak, anyway, because Finn turned around and walked away.

 

“So, now Finn’s mad at me,” Poe slurred. “And I thought I was mad at him, but I think I was just angry at myself. And I wish we’d have talked properly, and made up… with kissing.”

Jess stared at the bar. “She’s, like, so sophisticated,” she said. “She moves like some sort of – I dunno. An elegant person, thing.”

“And I told him there’s nothing more important than the Resistance.”

“There isn’t,” Jess said.

“But what if there was? Like, someone you’d give up fighting the war for?”

“Poe, you’ve got it so bad,” she said. “This is turning into that kind of story I hate. The sappy kind.”

He didn’t answer, instead emptying his mug of lum. Well, that’s what he’d been told it was. This brewtap was nice and all, but this was a time of galaxy-wide crisis and good drinks didn’t rank that high on the scale of goods that needed to be imported and stocked.

“I want something stronger,” Jess said. “I wish they had some good liquor.”

Poe nodded, looking at the table. “Enough lum makes you drunk enough, though,” he said morosely.

“This is a very irresponsible thing to do,” Jess said. “We’re like, respected or something.”

“Not anymore,” Poe said.

“Poe! Get over it. No one’s mad at you, not even the General, that’s how good a rap you’ve got!”

Poe shrugged. “I wanna go home,” he said.

“Where’s that?”

“I dunno,” he said, thinking of Finn.

“I want Rey,” Jess said.

“You’re not even properly in love with her,” Poe said accusingly.

“No,” Jess said. “But I might eventually be, so shut up.”

Poe shut up. He felt much more like drinking than talking, anyway.

BB-8 whooped, making Poe jump. He’d completely forgotten that the droid was there with them.

“Okay,” Poe said. “See you tomorrow.”

BB-8 rolled away.

Jess got up, stumbled over to the bar, and came back with two new mugs, one of which she placed in front of Poe.

“Thanks,” he said.

“Maybe we should just get together, you know,” Jess said. “’Cause, like, we’re both unhappily in love or whatever.”

They stared at each other for a while.

“No,” Poe said, shaking his head.

“Yeah, no,” Jess agreed.

 

A few lums later, Poe still wasn’t feeling any better.

“This is so unfair,” Jess said.

“What?”

“The whole galaxy. Everything.” She made a sweeping gesture, but dropped her arms in the middle of it. “Uh-oh.”

“What?” Poe asked again.

Jess pointed her chin at the door.

Poe turned around and spotted Finn, Rey and BB-8 walking towards their table. He looked back at Jess, only she wasn’t sitting in her chair anymore. He ducked his head and saw that she’d dived under the table.

“BB-8’s such a telltale!” she hissed.

Poe shrugged. “That’s not my fault. He does whatever he wants.”

The other three had made their way over to where Poe and Jess were sitting. Poe tiredly raised a hand to wave at Finn. “Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” Finn said, looking down at him. “Are you alright, Poe?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

“He’s lying,” Jess said from under the table.

“Well done for getting us, BB-8,” Rey said. “I think that was necessary.”

Jess stuck her tongue out at her.

“Okay, up you get,” Finn said, pulling Poe out of his chair. “You look like you need some sleep.”

“I want a drink,” Poe said.

Finn looked at their discarded mugs skeptically. “Tell me these weren’t spiced, at least,” he said.

“How should I know?” Poe asked. “Jess got them.”

“Don’t blame me!” Jess said loudly, jumping up and hitting her head on the underside of the table. She groaned and sat back down on the dirty floor, then shook her head and crawled out from under the table. “Here I am,” she said.

“That’s great,” Rey said.

“You’re great,” Jess said.

“Was that a compliment or an insult?” Rey asked.

“Both?” Jess said.

Rey sighed. “Let’s all go home.”

BB-8 beeped.

“Well, no one forced you to come back here,” Jess snapped at him.

“Jess, don’t be mean to BB-8,” Poe said.

Jess ignored him and started singing ‘Love Broke My Hyperdrive’. Poe saw Finn and Rey exchange an exasperated glance. It turned desperate when he joined into Jess’s singing.

 

Poe didn’t remember much of that night, except Finn helping him get into bed without even undressing.

“’M really sorry,” Poe said. “About not being so nice to you earlier. I was just – really disappointed at – myself, that’s who.”

“Okay,” Finn said. “That’s fine, Poe. You should just go to sleep now.”

“See, you’re still mad at me!”

“No, I’m not,” Finn said. “I’m really not. You’re just very drunk.”

“Did you mean that?”

“That you’re drunk? Yes. Yes, I definitely meant that. And I’m right.”

“No,” Poe said, flopping down onto his bed. Everything was spinning. It was kind of fun. “That you’d lose the war to keep me safe?”

“Yeah,” Finn said without hesitation. “Of course I would. I’d keep you somewhere safe, where no one could find you. I’d even let BB-8 come with us.” He grinned.

“Oh,” Poe said.

They were silent for a while, until Poe spoke again. “We haven’t talked about when we kissed.”

“I don’t think we should do that now,” Finn said. “You probably wouldn’t remember it tomorrow.”

“Right,” Poe said. “But, you know, I haven’t kissed anyone since meeting you. Actually, since a while before. Y’know, missions and stuff. Not condu – con –  conductive to romance.”

“I know,” Finn said. “Me neither.”

“Oh, but Rey –” Poe coughed. “But – really?” He was pretty proud of that save.

Finn smiled. “Really,” he said. “Now, sleep.”

Poe slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on holiday and I don't know what my internet connection will be like. Hopefully I'll be able to put the next two chapters up on time, but it might not work out and they'll be up late, sorry if that happens.


	8. Chapter 8

He felt absolutely terrible. For a moment he thought he was back in the hands of the bounty hunters, then he blinked into the light and saw Finn curled up in a chair in the corner. He looked really cute, asleep like that. Looking at him like that felt strangely intimate. Poe looked away.

He sat up and nearly vomited over the side of the bed. Too much lum. Definitely. Way too much. What had happened? Thinking was a lot harder than usually. He’d been out with Jess. BB-8 had been there, and he’d fetched Finn and Rey. He wasn’t sure after that. He didn’t remember where Jess, Rey and BB-8 had gone. He did remember Finn smiling at him, and speaking to him in that warm, kind voice. He couldn’t recall the words, though.

“Hey, Poe,” Finn said.

Poe flinched, because he hadn’t noticed Finn waking up. “Hey,” he said.

“Are you feeling really bad?” Finn asked.

Poe nodded. “I’ll never drink again,” he said.

Finn laughed, got up and handed him a glass of water. “You just need to rehydrate and you’ll be fine.”

“It doesn’t feel like I’ll be fine,” Poe whined.

“Well, it’s your own fault,” Finn said, but he was smiling.

Poe pouted. “I’ll blame it on Jess. Is she okay, by the way?”

“Oh, seeing how Rey took care of her, I’d say she’s probably okay.”

“You shouldn’t have stayed in that chair all night,” Poe said. “It’s not good for your back.”

Finn stared at him. “Poe,” he said. “You sat in a chair at my bedside for days on end.”

“Well, I guess we’re even now.”

“Yeah,” Finn said sarcastically. “This one time of me staying with you totally makes up for that.”

“You’ll have to do it again, then, I suppose,” Poe said, his heart beating fast.

“Yes,” Finn said, grinning. Before he could go on, though, BB-8 rolled into the room, beeping furiously.

Finn raised his hands defensively. “Droid, what do you want?” He turned to Poe. “What does he want?”

Poe put his feet on the ground and his stomach lurched. This was going to be an awful day. He took a deep breath and stood up.

“He’s angry at me for drinking irresponsibly,” Poe said.

BB-8 whirred. Poe pulled a face. “Alright, alright,” he said. “Thanks for worrying.”

BB-8 whooped.

Poe sighed. “And thanks for getting Finn and Rey. That was very smart of you.”

BB-8 whistled happily and rolled outside again.

“Right,” Finn said. “Do you want breakfast?”

Poe clamped his hands in front of his mouth in order not to retch, shaking his head.

“Okay, maybe not such a good idea,” Finn said. “Uh, fresh air?”

“Yeah,” Poe said gratefully. “That sounds great.”

 

“So, are we having a talk?” Poe asked. To be honest, he didn’t feel like talking. He felt like sitting out here on the grass next to Finn for the rest of his life. Okay, well, until the next time it rained.

“Not now,” Finn said.

“Why not?” Poe asked. Because maybe, hopefully, Finn was thinking along the same lines right now that Poe was.

“’Cause I don’t want to not be able to kiss you after in case you might throw up. So let’s talk later.”

“Oh,” Poe said. “Oh.”

“If that’s okay,” Finn said, and Poe didn’t know whether he was referring to the kissing or the not-kissing. Not that it mattered. It was both okay. More than okay. He’d never felt better, he was pretty sure, despite the hangover.

Poe laughed, feeling almost giddy. “Alright,” he said. “But before any other missions.”

“Definitely,” Finn said. “That was such a bad idea.”

Poe nodded.

They didn’t say anything else, just sat there in the sun.

Until it started to rain.

“Oh, great,” Poe said.

Finn cursed, got up, and took Poe’s hand to pull him up as well. Poe felt nauseous again. Why had the lum seemed like such a good idea yesterday?

“Let’s run,” Finn said, and before Poe could answer, he started off back to the base. Poe sprinted after him. They arrived inside, wet from the rain despite running, but laughing anyway.

Poe leaned against the wall, trying not to throw up. “We can’t tell Kalonia,” he gasped. “She’s gonna kill us.”

“Take it slow,” Finn said, imitating Kalonia’s voice. “You still need rest. I don’t want to see you running about!”

Poe laughed again. “So, shhhh,” he said, putting a finger to his lips.

Finn winked at him. “Don’t worry,” he said, grinning. Poe wanted to kiss him, and maybe this was the right time –

“Master Finn, Master Poe!” C-3PO called, walking over to them. “Master Nien and Lady Jess have been looking for you.”

Finn shot Poe a look and mouthed "Lady?"

“And here we are!” Jess said, appearing from around the corner. “Thanks for helping, C-3PO.”

“It is my pleasure,” C-3PO, and before he could continue, Jess shot him a bright smile.

“Thanks, see you later,” she said, turning to Poe. “We’ve been looking for you.”

Nien nodded at him.

“Why?” Poe asked. “What are you guys up to? And why are you in so much better condition than me?” he added, giving Jess a dark look.

“Scouring the Western Reaches for signs of evil,” Jess said. “And Rey made me drink a lot of water, that’s why.”

“We are going on a mission,” Nien said in his strangely-accented Basic. “Search the Western Reaches.”

“That was just speculation!” Poe said.

“They’ve had some pretty solid tip-offs, apparently, that there are people on Rattatak that are worth talking to,” Jess said. “So that’s what we’re gonna do.”

“Okay,” Poe said. “Thanks for saying goodbye before leaving.”

“Yeah,” Jess said. “I really just wanted to ask whether either of you know where Rey is.”

“And I call you a friend,” Poe said as Finn laughed.

Jess winked at him. “Come on,” she said. “Don’t be jealous. I’ll always love you the second-most.”

“I don’t know where she is,” Poe said, rolling his eyes at her.

“Last I saw her she was talking to Kaydel,” Finn said apologetically. “But that was a couple of hours ago.”

Jess sighed. “Alright, Nien, let’s keep looking. Maybe we’ll find Kaydel and she can help.”

Nien looked resigned.

“Rey might just be in the _Falcon_ with Chewie,” Finn said. “They do repairs and stuff.”

“Oh, good idea!” Jess said, turning to go outside where the _Falcon_ was standing amongst the other ships.

Before she could open the door, however, it was pulled open from the outside and Rey walked inside.

“Oh, hello,” she said. “What are you all doing here?”

“I was wondering whether I could talk to you for a moment,” Jess said.

“Sure,” Rey said, nodding.

Jess threw Nien, Poe, and Finn a look. They made their excuses and left.

 

Poe and Finn ran into Snap after wishing Nien luck on his mission.

“There you are,” Snap said. “I was looking for you.”

“Everyone’s looking for us today,” Poe said. “I’m very flattered.”

“I was wondering if you guys feel like going out tonight.”

“No,” Poe said immediately.

Finn laughed. “I don’t think Poe’s going out for a while.”

“I didn’t necessarily mean for drinks,” Snap said. “We could just go for dinner.”

“Why?” Poe asked.

“Because unlike all the rest of you, I haven’t been off-planet or in the sickbay for a while, so I’ve had enough of the food from the canteen.”

“Fair enough,” Poe said.

“Sure,” Finn said.

“Cool,” Snap said. “See you guys later.”

 

“Don’t let me get a drink,” Poe told Snap and Finn.

“Don’t worry,” Finn said. “We won’t.”

“Although you are hilarious when you’re drunk,” Snap said. “Sometimes. Sometimes you get really annoying, or sad. It’s a crapshoot, really.”

“Thanks,” Poe said, when they ran into Kaydel.

“Hey,” she said, happily. Kaydel was usually friendly and smiling, and always cheered people up. “What are you guys doing here?” she asked. “This isn’t your usual haunt.”

“Who says haunt?” Finn wondered.

Snap grinned at Kaydel. “We were looking for a change. And Poe can’t go to the other brewtap anymore.”

“Ah,” Kaydel said, grinning. “I heard.”

Poe tried not to pout. It wasn’t easy.

They sat down at a table. Kaydel seemed to have decided to join them.

Snap said, “So, Jess and Rey.”

“I have no idea,” Poe said.

“Me neither,” Finn said.

“They looked pretty cosy talking to each other before Jess left.”

“We weren’t there,” Finn said.

“Did they?” Poe asked.

Snap nodded. “I guess it’s not really any of our business.”

“I guess not,” Finn said.

“It really isn’t,” Kaydel piped up.

“I wish it was, though,” Snap said with a laugh.

“Snap, come on,” Poe said, groaning. “Stop it.”

“Just ‘cause you don’t think it’s worth imagining –“

“Ugh,” Poe said.

“Do you know anything, Kaydel? ‘Cause you’re a woman, and stuff,” Snap said.

Kaydel rolled her eyes. “If I did, I wouldn’t tell you,” she said.

“Why?” Poe asked. “I mean, you’re not that close friends with either of them, are you?”

“I wouldn’t tell you because both Jess and Rey could kill me like that,” – she snapped her fingers – “And I don’t want that to happen.”

“And we couldn’t?” Snap asked.

“You couldn’t,” Kaydel said. “Anyway, that kind of thing is private.”

Finn laughed. “I doubt we’re gonna find out anytime soon. Rey’s very discreet, especially since she’s come back from looking for Luke Skywalker and started training.” He stretched his back. “It’s been ages,” he said. “I’m going to ask about our food.”

As soon as Finn was out of earshot, Snap turned to Poe.

“Seriously, Poe?” he said. “You still haven’t worked it out with Finn?”

“We’re on it,” Poe muttered, not looking at either Snap or Kaydel.

“Right,” Snap said. “It’s not complicated, you know.”

“Snap,” Kaydel said. “Come on! What did we just say about privacy?”

“You said that,” Snap said. “I didn’t. Poe, seriously. You’re worse than Nien when he liked that women – what’s her name – and he was being all proper and tried to court her or something.”

“That was sweet,” Kaydel said.

Poe shrugged. “We’re gonna talk tomorrow.”

“Who needs to talk? And why are you two sitting here like the best of friends instead of being off having sex somewhere?”

“You were the one who said we should go for dinner!”

Snap ignored him. “Why?” he asked again.

Poe squirmed. “I don’t know what he wants,” he said.

“Uh, I’m guessing, you,” Snap said.

Poe shook his head. “I mean, does he want – I don’t know, a relationship, or – or just –“

Finn came back and Poe shut up.

Finn noticed, of course. “You okay?” he asked. “The food’s gonna be here soon.”

Poe nodded. “Yeah, fine,” he said. “Still feeling a bit sick.”

“Are you in any pain from what those bounty hunters did to you?” Finn said darkly.

“It’s okay,” Poe said with a shrug.

Finn reached out and took Poe’s bandaged hand, carefully rubbing circles with his thumb. Poe took a shaky breath. He wanted to pull Finn close and kiss him, cup his jaw, feel Finn’s body against his…

“I’m actually gonna go,” Snap said suddenly, making both Poe and Finn jump. “You can have my food, it’s just brewtap food, anyway. Kaydel, come with me.”

Kaydel rolled her eyes but stood up.

“What?” Poe asked, panicking a little and pulling his hand away from Finn’s reluctantly. “Why are you going?”

“I’m not feeling great,” Snap said with a huge grin. “See you tomorrow.”

“This was Jess’s idea,” Poe said. “Wasn’t it?”

“Totally,” Snap said, patting Poe’s shoulder, nodding at Finn, and leaving. Kaydel waved at them and hurried after him, laughing.

“What was Jess’s idea?” Finn asked.

Poe sighed. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” Finn said, leaning back in his chair. “So here we are,” he said. “Again.”

“Yeah,” Poe said. He’d never felt more stupid.

“Do you really not know about Jess and Rey? ‘Cause you’re such good friends with Jess…”

Poe was surprised by Finn coming back to that topic, but decided to go along with it for now. “Well, you’re good friends with Rey.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I mean, they obviously like each other. Or at least, Jess likes Rey. It’s hard to tell with Rey.”

Poe nodded. “I’m sure they’d be good together.” What was he even doing? They were supposed to talk about Finn and Poe, not Rey and Jess!

“I don’t know if maybe – they expect different things. Maybe that’s why they haven’t – you know.”

“Well, they could just talk about it,” Poe said, looking at Finn. This was getting a little ridiculous. Finn looked down.

“I hope the food gets here soon,” Finn said randomly.

Poe stared at him. “We’ve paid for it,” he said slowly.

“I know! That’s why I want it. I’m going to ask –“

“I meant,” Poe said. He cleared his throat. “I meant, we’ve paid for it, so we could just go.”

“And take it with us?” Finn asked, frowning. “We could eat it at home.”

Poe felt the strong urge to hit his head on the table. “No,” he said. “We could – just go.”

“Oh,” Finn said, eyes wide.

“If you – I – forget it,” Poe said, embarrassed.

Finn was biting his lip. That was very distracting. And tempting.

“Let’s go, then,” Finn said in a low voice.

Poe jumped up. “Yeah, let’s go,” he said.

Finn laughed, took Poe’s good hand, and pulled him outside. The fresh air calmed Poe down a little and made him think clearly. What were they doing? They should talk first. Even though he really, really did not feel like talking. At all. Maybe they could talk tomorrow, and do this regardless. It didn’t make that big a difference. On the other hand, their conversation just now hadn’t made things much clearer. If Finn had only said what he wanted…

Poe’s train of thought was interrupted by Finn pressing him against the outside wall of the brewtap and kissing him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here there be M-rated stuff (I think, I'm not very good at rating). So if you mind, please stop reading. If you don't, enjoy!

Poe didn’t really pay attention to how they got back to his room, and he didn’t care. He was too busy kissing Finn, holding on to him, and thinking that he had to be dreaming, because this was way too good.

He pushed open the door and pulled Finn inside.

“Please tell me BB-8 isn’t here,” Finn said, looking around.

“’Course not,” Poe assured him, and lightly shoved him down on the bed, and Finn laughed, and he was so, so beautiful. And so very good at kissing.

Finn tangled his fingers in Poe’s hair and kept kissing him, which was perfectly fine by Poe. It was different now, though, from outside or even just a few moments ago. Finn’s touched gentled, and his kisses deepened, and Poe wanted to stop thinking, to stop everything but Finn, because nothing else seemed important.

“Poe?” Finn murmured between kisses, and it took Poe a while to focus.

“Please tell me you don’t want to have that talk now,” he breathed.

Finn laughed against his skin. “If you’re okay with that.”

“Oh, yes,” Poe said. “Yes.”

Finn kissed him quickly before speaking again. “Good,” he said. “Then let’s just start where we stopped that day before you left?”

Poe nodded, and they did.

 

Poe woke up when it was still dark.

Finn wasn’t there anymore.

He turned onto his other side and tried to fall back asleep. It didn’t work.

Why had Finn left? Maybe he’d regretted it. Regretted Poe. Maybe he didn’t want –

The door opened and Finn stepped back into the room. He’d put his pants back on, but not his shirt. Poe sat up to look at him.

“Oh, hey,” Finn said quietly. “I was being really sneaky not to wake you up.”

“Where – where did you go?” Poe asked. He was confused, and tired, and worried, and relieved.

“To the bathroom?” Finn said. “What –“

“I just thought – you’d, you know, left.”

“No,” Finn said hurriedly. “I – unless you want me to.” He pointed over his shoulder at the door. “I can go –“

“No,” Poe said. “No, come back, if you want –“

Finn smiled and crawled back under the covers. Poe pulled him close. His heartbeat was calming down again. Finn hadn’t left. He wanted to stay. Everything was fine.

He smiled and nestled closer when Finn started stroking his hair.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” Finn said.

“You didn’t _scare_ me,” Poe said. “I was just – surprised.”

Finn kissed him. Poe took the opportunity to run his hands down Finn’s chest to feel his warm skin.

“Much better,” Finn mumbled against his lips. Poe chuckled. 

“Than what?” he asked.

“Pretty much everything,” Finn said.

Poe felt warm, and safe, and right, and sleepy. He yawned against Finn’s shoulder. “Let’s go back to sleep,” he suggested.

Finn pulled him closer and kissed him again. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to.

 

When Poe woke up the next time, he was cold. He turned his head and realized two things: Finn was still there, which was awesome, and Finn had stolen the blanket, which was adorable.

Poe tried to steal it back, or at least half of it, but Finn was clutching it too tightly, so Poe poked him in the side until he woke up, blinking sleepily. “What’s going on?” he asked, yawning.

“You’ve got the whole blanket,” Poe explained.

Finn stared at him for a few moments. “You’re such a romantic,” he said drily.

Poe could feel himself blush. Maybe he should’ve woken Finn up a little more nicely. With a kiss or something. Well, it was too late now, and he was still cold.

“You’ve got pants and a blanket, and I haven’t got anything,” he said.

Finn looked up him up and down. “I think you’re fine like that,” he said with a smirk, but he let Poe crawl under the blanket, rolled on top of him and kissed him. Poe decided that now was a good time to be distracted. He hooked a leg over Finn’s thigh and ran his hands down Finn’s back, lightly tracing his scars. Finn gasped and breathed Poe’s name, and if possible this was even better than last night, their hands much more certain, every touch a promise that this was good.

It was slow, and warm, and it felt familiar – like this wasn’t the second time but the hundredth, in a good way.

Poe decided that even if later Finn unexpectedly decided that this was a one – well, two – time thing, it was worth it. Because how could it not be, with the way Finn clung to him, gasped his name, moaned into his mouth and eventually collapsed on top of him, breathless and sweaty. Poe stroked his hair, his cheeks, his shoulders, anything of Finn’s he could reach, until Finn kissed him again, and again, and some more. This didn’t need to end, Poe thought contentedly, ever.

Finn reached over the side of the bed and grabbed his discarded shirt to clean them off haphazardly. Poe watched Finn through half-closed eyes. He was sure he’d never seen anything like Finn. He didn’t even have the right words to describe him.

“We should get up, we’ll miss breakfast,” Poe whispered, stroking Finn’s face, hoping that Finn would say, no, let’s not, we can just stay in this bed forever.

“Yeah,” Finn mumbled. “We should.” He nestled into Poe’s side, and Poe decided that breakfast wasn’t that important a meal anyway.

“You know, I’m in love with you,” Poe said. Finn probably knew that already. Poe was pretty sure he’d said it last night, but they’d both been pretty occupied, so he decided he should say it again.

“Good,” Finn said. “Very convenient.”

Poe playfully punched his shoulder and Finn laughed and kissed him. “Alright, alright. I’m in love with you, too. Actually, I think I’ve been in love with you longer than you with me. Do I get points for that?”

“Impossible,” Poe said. “I’ve been in love with you since we escaped in that TIE-fighter.”

Finn laughed again. “I win,” he said. “I’ve been in love with you since I selflessly rescued you to make my desertion possible.”

“Oh, please,” Poe said, beaming. “Don’t you think you’re exaggerating a little right now?”

Finn nosed along his jaw. “Maybe,” he murmured. “Just a little.”

“I was worried,” Poe admitted. “That maybe you weren’t. That you just wanted – whatever.”

“Sex,” Finn said, grinning up at him before turning serious again. “No. Not that I don’t, but that’s not why I’m here.”

Poe gave him a look as Finn ran a hand down Poe’s chest, resting it just beneath Poe’s belly button and pressing a kiss to his chest.

“Maybe it’s a small part of why I’m here,” Finn admitted, making Poe laugh. “But it’s not why I’m gonna stay.”

“You’re gonna stay?” Poe asked, just to make sure.

“Yeah,” Finn said. “You’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

“I wasn’t planning to,” Poe said.

“Great,” Finn said. “That works out really well! Now, breakfast. We can still make it.”

 

They stopped outside the canteen and exchanged a look. “Uh,” Poe said.

“Right,” Finn said. “Are we just – going in there together?”

Poe had no idea. Would people notice? Would it matter if they did? Maybe it mattered to Finn…

“Just go in,” a voice from behind them said. “Honestly. As if you’ve never arrived for breakfast at the same time before.”

Poe turned around and looked at Rey. “Hi,” he said cautiously. “What – I mean, have you heard – have you been talking to Snap?”

Rey smiled at him. “Come on,” she said, giving both of them a little nudge. “Otherwise Snap won’t have left us any blue milk.”

There was enough blue milk left when they sat down with Snap, who was talking to Kaydel.

“Hey,” he said, smirking.

“Shut up, Temmin,” Poe said.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“What’s going on?” Kaydel asked.

Rey was calmly pouring herself blue milk.

Poe sighed and caught Finn’s eye. Finn was smiling, which was good.

At least Jess wasn’t here. That would not have been fun.

“When are Jess and Nien coming back?” Finn asked, obviously keen on a change of topic.

“We’re not sure, but they might already be on their way back. Rattatak wasn’t a big mission, just talking to some people, and it shouldn’t have taken too long, especially if they split up.”

Snap nodded. “Also, Rattatak is boring. I’d hurry up if I was sent there.”

“I’ll let the General know that. Maybe you’ll get a mission on Jakku some time,” Poe said.

Snap threw some of his breakfast at him but hit C-3PO who was walking past them.

“So,” Snap said, once C-3PO had left indignantly. “You guys have finally got your shit together?”

Finn choked on his food. Poe stared at the table.

“Snap!” Kaydel said. “That’s private!”

“What, they didn’t have a problem discussing Jess and Rey!”

Rey looked up.

Poe, Snap and Finn shared sheepish glances.

“Uh, what I mean by that –“ Snap started helplessly.

“We didn’t discuss anything, Rey –“ Finn said.

“We wouldn’t –“ Poe said.

Kaydel snickered.

Rey raised an eyebrow but smiled. “Guys,” she said. “You don’t have to lie to me.”

“Right,” Finn said.

“Sorry,” Poe said.

“So, about you and Jess –“ Snap said, but Kaydel clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Don’t mind us,” she said.

“Okay,” Finn said, looking adorably confused.

“I have to go,” Rey said. “Luke wanted to see me.”

She got up, smiled at everyone, and left.

“Have any of you seen him?” Kaydel asked quietly.

“Luke, you mean?” Finn asked.

She nodded.

“No,” Finn said.

Snap and Poe shook their heads.

“Jess might have,” Poe said. “She’s obsessed with him, I can see her looking for him and forcing him to speak to her.”

Snap grinned. “I miss her,” he said.

“Meh,” Poe said, but he grinned to show he didn’t mean it.

“I’m going to go as well,” Snap said. “My X-wing hasn’t been doing what I want it to do.” He raised a hand as a goodbye.

Kaydel got up and said goodbye as well. She threw Poe and Finn a curious look, but then scurried off.

“That wasn’t awkward,” Finn said.

“I mean, they know.”

“How?” Finn said. “I mean, we hardly know properly.”

Poe laughed. “Everyone here is a terrible gossip. Especially Snap.”

“Wait until the droids hear,” Finn said darkly. “The entire Resistance will know within seconds.”

“Do you mind that?” Poe asked carefully.

Finn shrugged. “Not if you don’t.”

“I don’t,” Poe said quickly.

They shared a look.

“That’s good,” Finn said.

“Yeah,” Poe said. He felt like he’d never stop smiling.

 

Jess and Nien came back that evening.

Jess took one look at Finn’s hand on Poe’s arm, threw her head back and laughed. Then she took Rey’s hand and pulled her into the hallway.

Nien nodded at Poe and Finn, then left as well.

Poe went back to checking the controls of his X-wing. Finn was sitting on a toolbox, watching him.

“You okay?” Poe asked him. “You haven’t said anything in a while.”

Finn grinned, stood up and sauntered over to him, putting his hands on Poe’s hips and pulling him close. “I was just thinking,” he said. “It would be much more efficient if you did this work without a shirt on.”

Poe laughed. “I’d get grease all over myself,” he said.

“Sort of the point,” Finn murmured against his lips.

Poe kissed Finn, pulling him even closer. Finn’s fingers tangled in Poe’s hair, and he slipped his tongue into Poe’s mouth. Poe grabbed the lapels of his old jacket and this was amazing, Finn’s hands caressing his hair and Finn’s tongue stroking against his –

“Stop working now,” Finn whispered.

“My ship,” Poe said, even though he had no idea why. Who cared about his ship? He didn’t need to check the controls tonight, he could do it tomorrow.

“Nah,” Finn said. “It’s so cramped in there.”

Poe laughed before he could stop himself. He took Finn’s hand, entangling their fingers, and kissed him. He’d intended to lead Finn to one of their rooms, but Finn backed him up against the wall.

“What if someone sees us?” Poe asked, because if he didn’t do it now, he wasn’t going to do it at all.

Finn shrugged. “I don’t care. Besides, who’s gonna see us? There’s no one here.”

That was true, and they were half-hidden behind Poe’s X-wing anyway, and Poe didn’t care either, he just wanted Finn, now.

Poe reached up to cup the back of Finn’s neck and pull him into a kiss. When they broke apart, Poe smiled up at Finn, running his thumb over Finn’s cheekbone. “Fine, then,” he said.

Finn nipped at Poe’s lips and shoved a hand down Poe’s pants.

“Finn!” Poe gasped, equally surprised and exhilarated.

“Yeah?” Finn asked, sucking Poe’s earlobe into his mouth. “Good?”

“Y – yes,” Poe managed, clutching Finn’s shoulders and letting his head fall back against the wall, squeezing his eyes shut. There wasn’t much else he was in the condition to do, which was pretty embarrassing, considering this hadn’t been going on for very long, but _stars_.

“Is this – “ Finn started.

“Don’t stop,” Poe gasped, interrupting him. “Finn, please, don’t stop –“ He definitely should’ve been embarrassed by now, but he wasn’t and he didn’t know why, and Finn was warm and solid and touching him just right and Poe could barely breathe –

“Come on,” Finn murmured, kissing him again. “That’s it, I’ve got you, c’mon now.”

Poe groaned and pressed his forehead against Finn’s. Finn captured his mouth again, and it was too much, he was feeling too much, and he still wanted more, everything Finn had to give –

He cried out and buried his face against Finn’s neck. Finn was carding his fingers through Poe’s hair, and kissing his temple, and holding him, and Poe never wanted to be anywhere else again.

When he could breathe normally again, he looked at Finn, smiling. “That was inappropriate,” he said.

“Fun, though, wasn’t it?” Finn asked, eyes sparkling.

Poe chuckled and pressed a kiss against Finn’s lips, feeling shaky and boneless and amazing. “Very fun,” he said. “But I’ll pay you back somewhere more private, okay?”

Finn kissed him back. “Okay,” he said.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the cheesiness...

Poe woke up, unsure for a moment what had woken him. He felt disoriented, but he didn’t want to turn the light on and wake Finn up. Finn, who was tucked into his side, and felt all warm and soft and perfect. He’d also stolen the blanket again. Poe smiled into the dark. Finn did that every night, and Poe was so used to it by now that it would’ve felt strange any other way.

They were lying in Poe’s bed. Poe liked his bed because it was smaller than Finn’s – which was unfair but not the point right now – so they had to lie closer together. He suspected Finn liked it for the same reason. In any case, they ended up in Poe’s bed far more often than in Finn’s, and Poe wasn’t complaining.

“Poe?” Finn whispered.

“Oh,” Poe said. “Did I wake you?”

Finn laughed weakly. “I think I woke you,” he said.

“Are you alright?” Poe reached out and wrapped his arm around Finn.

“Yeah,” Finn said. “Had a nightmare.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Poe asked. He wouldn’t usually have because he didn’t want Finn to think he was pushing him, but Finn seemed pretty shaken.

“You died,” Finn said. “You were flying.”

Poe remained silent as Finn reached out and put his hand on Poe’s ribs as if to assure himself that Poe’s heart was beating.

Poe stole his part of the blanket back. He was surprised when Finn kissed his forehead.

There weren’t usually romantic scenes like that between them. They had fun, and they laughed a lot, and weren’t generally very serious if they could avoid it. There was a lot of kissing and hugging and snuggling, but forehead-kissing was new.

“I really love you,” Finn said.

“That bad a nightmare?” Poe asked.

Finn chuckled and nestled closer, but he nodded at the same time and Poe kissed his cheek.

“I love you, too,” he said. “We’re one of those annoyingly cheesy couples now, you realize that? Jess is gonna kick our ass. And she’ll have Rey on her side.” Lately, it had become increasingly obvious that Rey was always at Jess’s side, which was very sweet and great for them, but also slightly scary.

Finn shrugged. “Could be worse. We’ve got BB-8.”

“True,” Poe said, flopping back into the pillows. “I’m all woken up now.”

Finn laughed. And Poe had a strange, bubbly, tickly feeling in his chest. That was probably love. He’d never felt it like this – not this strong, or frightening, or amazing – before Finn.

“We should get up,” he said, not moving.

“We should,” Finn agreed, wrapping his arms tighter around Poe and pressing kisses along his jaw. “In a minute.”

Poe kissed him, but broke away after a few moments. He would’ve liked to continue with the kissing, and on from there, but the bad news first.

“What is it?” Finn asked, running a hand down Poe’s arm.

Poe looked at him, hesitating. It was such a good moment, so lazy and peaceful. He didn’t want to ruin it.

“They’re sending me away on a mission to Rakata Prime,” Poe finally said, because eventually he’d have to anyway. “Better than Jakku, hm?” he joked.

Finn didn’t smile. “What?” he said. “When? How long?”

“A few weeks,” Poe said carefully. “They’re not sure how long it’s going to end up taking.”

“Right,” Finn said. “But I can come with you.”

Poe kissed him, and he knew Finn knew that was a bad sign. “They want to keep you here to train you further,” Poe said. Finn was doing very well becoming a trusted, invaluable member of the Resistance.

“What if I don’t want to – to be trained further?” Finn asked.

Poe sighed. He knew that Finn did want to, at least if the way he often talked about his progress was any indication, but Poe was also aware that Finn never liked to see him go away. Poe doubted he’d have liked had it been the other way around.

Poe kissed Finn again. “It’s not for long.”

“A few weeks are definitely too long,” Finn grumbled. “I wish they wouldn’t keep sending you away on those high-risk missions. I –“

“You don’t like it,” Poe said matter-of-factly. It wasn’t a surprise. He’d suspected long before tonight that Finn didn’t like him leaving.

Finn squirmed. “It’s not that I don’t like it – I – I just – Why do they always send you on the most dangerous ones?”

“Well,” Poe said with a smirk. “I am the best.” He smiled at Finn, more softly now. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“You could die,” Finn said.

Poe stared at him. He hadn’t known that Finn worried this much. “Yes,” Poe said slowly. “I could. But we could always die, Finn. Any day, we’re not really safe. This is a war. We could both be dead tomorrow.”

Finn looked far away for a moment and Poe decided to distract him from those dark thoughts by running a hand down his side and rubbing circles over his hipbone. Poe had figured out he had a talent for making Finn think about all kinds of very nice things instead of the scary reality.

“When we’ve won the war,” Poe said. “I’ll take you somewhere really nice, and we can just – be there. If you want.”

“Yeah,” Finn said. “I’d like that.”

Poe kissed Finn’s shoulder and pulled the blanket tighter around them. “Let’s go back to sleep for a bit,” he said.

Finn nodded and started stroking Poe’s hair softly. Poe had never said it, but Finn knew he liked going to sleep that way.

They were silent for a while, and Finn’s breathing got more even.

Poe kissed Finn’s forehead, just like Finn had done to him earlier. There was something about moments like these, he thought, that makes the romance acceptable. He thought of what it was going to be like when the war was over. They could wake up together every morning and go to sleep together every night. Poe felt like yelling with glee at the thought.

“Poe?” Finn muttered. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Poe said. “I didn’t mean to wake you up again, I’m sorry.”

Finn snuggled closer, shaking his head to indicate it was okay. “What’re you thinking?”

“I just thought – we’re probably not going to die tomorrow,” Poe said.

Finn gave him a sweet, sleepy smile. “No,” he said. “We’re probably not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's read this story, and especially to everyone who subscribed, left kudos and commented.


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